A Before the Foxhole Prayer

The reconstruction of the battle of the Second World WarA “foxhole prayer” is a prayer you pray when things are difficult and pressing.  A test you’ve not studied for.  The fear of an unwanted pregnancy.  A sudden job loss.  A terminal diagnosis.  Such things can cause even non-religious people to pray a foxhole prayer that sounds something like this:  “God, if you’ll just fix this then I’ll do that.”

But what about a “before the foxhole prayer?”

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Why Am I Here?

Depositphotos_3353833_xs“Why am I here?”  I find myself asking this question a lot.  Sometimes, it’s just because I’ve walked into a room and have forgotten what I was there for.  But the older I get, the more I’m asking that question on a deeper level.  It’s a question that ranks right up there with, “What is the meaning of life?”  It’s a question that begs to be answered.

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Is Your Marriage Magical or Mechanical?

HATCHEDRemember when your marriage was young?  Remember the fun, the anticipation, the magic?  Does your marriage still feel magical or has it become more mechanical?  If your marriage seems more mechanical than magical, there are three keys to getting the magic back.  I found them in a Steve Carrell movie called “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.”

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This Isn’t the Spouse I Wanted!

Balda_Temp“What happened to the person I married?”  “Where did that person go?”  “I want that person back.”  This is not the person I thought I was marrying.”  “This isn’t the spouse I wanted!”

Most people who have been married for any length of time have thought these things, even if they weren’t brave enough to say them out loud. It’s like you’re the victim of a bait and switch.  You thought you were getting one person and instead you got another.

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Do You Look For Affirmation in Public Opinion or Personal Conviction?

like meWe never really outgrow the desire to be liked by others.  We can be a grown adult with children and grandchildren, and still be concerned about whether people like us.

We don’t approach people and ask, “Do you like me?”  That’s way too elementary school.  Instead, we look for affirmation in other ways…

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Figuring Out What to Keep and What to Tweak

Cross Roads With Blank SignsIn the last post, we talked about what it means to have a “normal marriage.”  Here’s a quick recap:

  • Everyone’s marriage is “normal”…for them.
  • There are parts of “normal” that work and should be kept.
  • There are parts of “normal” that don’t work and should be tweaked.

The key to making your normal marriage good is figuring out what parts to keep and what parts to tweak.

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