1 Samuel 2-3 – Does God Choose Favorites?

“Mom always liked him better.” “Dad always favored her.” What sibling hasn’t said or thought something like this?

Some would say God plays favorites, because some people seem to be blessed while others encounter one hardship after another. If God loves us all the same, why doesn’t He give everyone the same deal?

Let’s be clear…God does not show favoritism, in the sense that He arbitrarily chooses to be good to some and not to others. (See Acts 10:34, Rom. 2:11, Eph. 6:9, and Col. 3:25.) God loves each person the same (John 3:16) and will work with each person to achieve His best for them. (2 Pet. 3:9) But each person is responsible for their response to God. (James 4:6-8.) Though it’s possible to experience hardship through no fault of our own, quite often the difficulties we experience are not the result of God’s favoritism, but ours! We show favoritism toward ourselves, rather than God, and in so doing, we choose to honor that which is flawed over that which is perfect…giving us flawed results.

This is what’s happening in 1 Samuel chapters 2-3. There you see a distinct contrast between the life and direction of Samuel and the life and direction of Eli’s sons. Samuel is clearly headed for greatness, while Elli’s sons are headed for destruction. But Hophni and Phinehas’ fate is not because God favored Samuel over them. It’s because they favored themselves over God.

God does not promise each person the same path to travel, but He does promise each person the same love, care, and help for their journey. And it’s His desire to see each person arrive at the right destination. God does not play favorites, but we do. The question is, do we favor ourselves or God?

1 Samuel 1 – How to Start a Great Story

The Wizard of Oz is a great story full of heroes and villains, fear and hope, trickery and bravery. Yet, it starts in simple black and white; with a plain and simple Kansas farm girl who has a dream.

Likewise, the book of 1 Samuel is a story of heroes and villains, trickery and bravery, fear and hope. It tells of the beginnings of one of the greatest kings and kingdoms of history, but it starts in chapter one with a simple woman named Hannah from the hill country of Ephraim who longs to have a child.

It might seem that Hannah wants a child to compete with her husband’s other wife, Peninnah. But that’s not the case, since Hannah had only one child and Peninnah had many.

It might also seem as if Hannah wants a child to win her husband’s favor. But that’s not the case, since v.5 tells us that she already had her husband’s favor.

So what was Hannah’s desire for a child all about?

In Hannah’s time, the inability to have children was believed to be a sign of God’s disfavor or abandonment. Hannah’s desire for a child was a longing for God’s favor. That’s why, when God answers Hanna’s longing for a child, Hannah gives the child back to God in gratitude.

All the wonderful stories found in 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel…the forming of a mighty kingdom for God and the regal splendor of the golden age of the Children of Israel…are all founded on a simple woman from the hill country of Ephraim who prayed and asked God to be merciful to her and show her that He cared.

This is how you start a great story, a great book, a great movie, or a great life.

Ruth 3-4 – Relationships Should be a Two-Way Street

Note: If you’re not familiar with the story of Ruth, I encourage you to read the book of Ruth before reading further. At least read Ruth 3-4. You’ll be glad you did!

A relationship should be a two-way street.

In Ruth chapter 3, Ruth (at the encouragement of Naomi) pursues Boaz. It was important that she do so, because though Boaz had shown his heart by caring for Ruth and going the extra mile to provide for her, Ruth needed to show that she too was interested in and desirous of him.

Then, in Ruth chapter 4, Boaz aggressively pursues Ruth by masterfully making the proper arrangements to secure Ruth for himself; (even though she was a foreigner and had nothing to contribute to his estate.)

That’s how relationship should work. They should go both ways.

This is a great love story, but it’s more than just a love story between Ruth and Boaz. It’s a picture of the love story Jesus seeks with us! Jesus is our Boaz. The One who desires to secure our future through His provision and protection. Even before we demonstrate interest in Him, He cares for us, provides for us, and has His workers show favor toward us.

But there comes a time when we must actively show our desire and commitment to Him. For a love story is only complete when both partners are responding. A relationship should be a two-way street. (James 4:8)

And just a side note…it was the two-way relationship between Ruth and Boaz that eventually brought King David (the giant slayer) and King Jesus (the sin slayer) into the world. Imagine what your two-way relationship with Christ and with others might do!

Ruth 2 – More Than a Fable

Aesop’s fables are engaging little stories that are both entertaining and instructive. The Book of Ruth is both entertaining and instructive, but it’s more than a fable. There we find the story of Ruth, a destitute foreigner and widow, who makes a commitment to her mother-in-law Naomi.

The story also about Boaz, a man who was not only wealthy, but also kind-hearted and wise. Boaz is referred to as a “kinsman redeemer.” This is a relative who steps in to rescue a wife and a family line from being destitute and extinguished due to the death of the wife’s husband.

Ruth is the story of a person in great need, a person of great benevolence, and the sovereign providential God who brings them together. In chapter 1, you see the great need of Ruth. And in chapter 2, you see God providentially introducing her to the benevolent Boaz.

It’s an entertaining story, but what’s the point? The point is this…every person on this planet is a Ruth. We’ve been separated by death from our first husband (God.) We’re destitute and we don’t fit. We strike out on our own to try to provide for ourselves, but we’re unable to do it on our own. We need help. But God wants to introduce us to a Boaz (Jesus) who will show kindness to us and woo us away from our poverty and into His safety and provision.

The question is, will we recognize the overture of our Boaz and will we respond to His invitation to stay with Him, enjoying His protection and provision.

This is not an Aesop fable, but rather an awesome truth waiting for us to grasp and own!

Before You Drive Your Marriage Off a Cliff, Drive it Down Memory Lane

During my Senior year of High School, I began to talk to a  girl who really had no interest in me. (I mean really!) But the more I talked to her, the more interested I became. So the night of our high school graduation, I asked her to go out after the ceremony. Much to my dismay, she turned me down because her boyfriend was talking her out after the ceremony. (Yes, she already had a boyfriend!)

In a bold, and rather unethical move, I asked her what time her boyfriend was bringing her home. When she told me 11:00 pm, I told her I would pick her up at 11:02. The look she gave me told me she didn’t put much stock in what I was saying, but I assured her I would be there.

Now I’m not suggesting this was an honorable thing to do. It wasn’t. I would like to say I was being galant and romantic, but I was eighteen and thinking more about me than her boyfriend. For that…I’m sorry!

Anyway, back to the story. A little before 11 pm, I parked down the street from her house, turned off my car lights, and waited. At 11pm, they pulled up in front of her house. I watched him let her out and drive away. After he drove around the corner, I pulled up in front of her house. She came out, got in the car, and we drove off on our first (unofficial) date.

We’ve been married nearly forty years now, and every day has been just as story book as that memory. Ok, you know that’s a lie. Not everyday has been that galant and romantic. There probably have been just as many times when we’ve been frustrated and wanted a break from one another. But if, during those times, I go back and remember that story (and many others like it) it puts things back in perspective and makes the aggravation shrink in comparison.

Couples come into my counseling office angry and resentful with one another. They spend a lot of time rehearsing story after story of let-downs, hurts, and frustrations.  But, when I ask them to tell me about how they met, what attracted them to one another, their favorite dating memory, etc….their faces change. Their tone of voice changes. They soften. All because they’re remembering the real reason they came together.

You may not be as young as you once were. Maybe you have kids, and jobs, and responsibilities that side-track you from being as spontaneous, gracious, and flirtatious as you once were. You may even be at that stage of life and marriage where a good time together is sitting quietly in your respective easy chairs. But we all have these memories and stories to remind us of why we’re together.

Those memories alone may not be enough to make your marriage what it needs to be. You may need to add some hard work to those memories, but those memories are an untapped resource and a glue to help hold things together.

So, when you’re facing a time in marriage where you feel like driving the whole thing off a cliff, try driving down memory lane instead. Rehearse those stories, pull out photos, talk about favorite times together. You may find that driving down memory lane takes you to a better destination.

Ruth 1 – Commitment

These days, absolute and total commitment is more of an ideal than a reality. Employees jump from company to company. Employers lay off workers, then give their jobs to others for less pay. Marriage vows state “till death do us part” but are translated “I hope this works out and we’re lucky enough to stay together.”

The book of Ruth is about commitment. There you see the  commitment of a daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law, the commitment of a relative to another relative, the commitment of a man to a woman, and the commitment of God to His people.

Chapter one of Ruth sets the theme of the book by focusing on Ruth herself. After her husband dies, Ruth has every reason to cut ties with her mother-in-law (Naomi). Ruth is a foreigner with no cultural obligation to Naomi, Naomi’s people, or Naomi’s God. As a young widow, it would be perfectly understandable for Ruth to pursue a new marriage and family at home, rather than caring for an old woman to whom she has no further ties, in a foreign land where she knows no one.

Yet, in Ruth 1:16-17, Ruth expresses an unwavering commitment to Naomi, surrendering her life for the good of Naomi. And, as we see later in the book, this commitment changed not only these two women, but the course of history.

This is the type of commitment God wants the readers of Ruth to see. It is the type of commitment he desires from us, because it is the type of commitment He has made to us…though He was under no obligation to do so.

The book of Ruth is our call to be people of commitment…first to God, and then to those around us.