commitment 2 | Bret Legg

3 Major Marriage Decisions

March 1, 2017August 24, 2016 by Bret Legg

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless stream of decisions. Even if you decide not to make a decision…that’s still a decision!

These decisions come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

There are minor decisions like: Where do we go to eat? Who cleans up after the dog? What movie will we watch? Who will take out the trash?

Then there are major decisions like: Is it time to have a baby? Should we change careers and move? What should we do about our wayward teen? How do we care for our aging parents?

Monogam-ish? Really?

April 16, 2018October 30, 2015 by Bret Legg

There is an idea related to marriage that is slowly gaining traction in our culture. It is the idea that you can be monogamous maritally, without being exclusive sexually. The term for this is “monogam-ish.”

When I first encountered this term, I was doing some web research and it came up in a Google search. My first thought was, “Monogam-ish? Really?” Curious, I clicked on a video explaining the concept of being monogram-ish. My reaction went from “you’ve got to be kidding” to “I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion!”

The rationale behind being monogam-ish goes like this…

Marriage at McDonalds

April 16, 2018September 22, 2015 by Bret Legg

I have a graduate degree in Marriage and Family Counseling. I work with married couples weekly, and I regularly write about how to improve marriage. Still, it was an elderly couple at McDonald that taught me my most recent lessons on marriage.

Comfortably Uncomfortable

April 16, 2018September 10, 2015 by Bret Legg

We all want to be comfortable. We want comfortable chairs, comfortable shoes, comfortable beds, comfortable clothes, comfortable retirements…comfortable everything.

We especially want comfortable marriages. We want marriages that are calm, happy, and easy. We want spouses who like what we like, act like we act, and always think we’re wonderful. We also want to win the lottery, but that’s probably not going to happen either.

Marriage is never completely comfortable. It is always a mixture of comfortable and uncomfortable. Because of that, you’re marriage will either be uncomfortably comfortable or comfortably uncomfortable.

What’s A Good Marriage Look Like?

April 16, 2018March 24, 2015 by Bret Legg

What’s a good marriage look like? Even if we don’t ask this question out loud, we all wonder what a good marriage really looks like. Maybe you have your own ideas about what a good marriage looks like. When you think about a good marriage, maybe you picture a husband and wife…

Choice

June 26, 2016October 8, 2014 by Bret Legg

Some of the best marriage advice I’ve ever received came from Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead. (For those who don’t know, The Grateful Dead is a psychedelic rock band that came to fame in the midst of the drug culture of the 60’s.) In Garcia’s self-titled 1972 solo album, a song entitled “Deal” contained the following lyric…

“Since it costs a lot to win, and even more to lose, you and me got to spend some time wondering what to choose.”

When you apply this line to marriage, it’s some of the best advice you’ll find, because it reminds us…

Are You Just A Partner?

June 26, 2016August 5, 2014 by Bret Legg

I hear the word “partner” used a lot these days. People use the term when they’re married, but they also use the term when they’re just living together.

I know the term “partner” is an attempt to be politically correct and inclusive, but to me the term “partner” seems a little demeaning. I want to be more than just a partner. I want a marriage that’s more than just a partnership. Why?

Wait! This Isn’t What I Ordered!

April 16, 2018April 8, 2014 by Bret Legg

When I’m eating out, I hate not getting what I ordered. Once while traveling, my wife and I pulled off the interstate to grab something to eat. Like a pit stop at Indy, we drove through, got our food, and got back on the road. Back on the interstate, my wife opened the bag to verify the order. (Yeah, I know.. we should have thought of that before getting back on the interstate.) She discovered they had gotten my order wrong. I was so frustrated I turned around at the next exit…several miles down the road…and went back to get what I had ordered. (Can you say “obsessive?”)

What’s this got to do with marriage?

From Zero To Fifty In One Afternoon

June 27, 2016April 1, 2014 by Bret Legg

It was a busy Saturday for my wife and me. We had two celebrations to attend in the same afternoon. One was a wedding, and the other was a celebration of a 50th wedding anniversary. Later that evening, after attending both events, I was thinking about those two marriages. It was like someone had called up marriage on the DVR and then pushed fast forward. From zero to fifty in one afternoon.

I Slipped in the Shower and Fell Into a Good Marriage

June 27, 2016March 25, 2014 by Bret Legg

It was one of those evening when I was in a lousy mood. After watching two episodes of “House” (episodes that seemed to flaunt a lack of commitment in marriage by the way), I got up to take a shower and go to bed.

I was finishing my shower and getting ready to turn off the water when it happened. I slipped, spun around, and went down like Shamoo at Sea World.