The other day, I was cleaning out some files and came across a poem, written by a divorced mom on behalf of her two children. The poem had no title, so I’ve given it the title: “My Daddy Doesn’t Live Here.” It’s heartbreaking to read, but it’s a good reminder of how divorce affects kids.
In twenty years of marriage counseling, I’ve seen couples put more and more emphasis on their house.
I’ve seen engaged couples believe they couldn’t get married until they had purchased a three bedroom, two bath home. I’ve seen couples expecting a child purchase a bigger home for more bedrooms, bigger yard, better neighborhood, a pool, or a playroom.
It’s as if we believe we can’t have a good marriage and family unless we have the “right” house.
(The posts in this series have been adapted from the “Relentless Love” marriage seminar, created and taught by David McKinley and Bret Legg at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas, TX.)
If you’ve been following this series from the beginning, you already know about many of the parts of a good marriage story. You know about the author, the characters, the obstacles, and the guide.
But just having the parts of a good marriage story does not magically make the story, anymore than having the ingredients for a good cake magically makes the cake. You have to do something with those parts. You must take action and make the most of what you have if you’re going to make a great marriage story.
Have you ever felt like you’re falling so far behind on something that there’s little hope of getting back to where you need to be? Have you ever thought, “What the heck. It’s too late now. Why even try. I’m too far behind.” Maybe you’ve felt that way about a project at work, or a hobby you always wanted to pursue. Maybe you’ve felt that way about your finances, or that career change you always wanted to make. Maybe you’ve even felt that way about your marriage.
At times we all feel like we’re falling behind, and it can be paralyzing.
Strong marriages and families practice flexibility. Whether it’s with the introduction of the first child or the first grandchild, there’s a willingness to go with the flow and let life get rearranged.
In this guest post, Connie Plummer gives a great picture of a marriage that’s willing to be rearranged. Connie is an educator, a children’s minister, and a wise advocate for marriage and family. I know her words will encourage you as much as they did me.
As you enter our home there is a little table with some favorite photos of our family, daughter, son, husband, wife, and grandkids. Along with these family photos is
When’s the last time you played with blocks? I’m talking about the old fashion, basic shapes, pre-Lego, low tech, wooden blocks.
I was at my granddaughter’s house the other day, and she grabbed me by the hand and took me back to her room. There, among all the toys, was a big bucket of wooden blocks just waiting for us.
Imagine having a dream about attending your own funeral. You see the people come in. You hear the music. Then you see someone get up to speak. The speaker says, “I can sum up this person’s life in just one sentence.” You lean in, anxious to her what they’re going to say about you. After a long pause, the speaker says, “They were…” But before they finish the sentence you wake up. As you sit up in bed, the one thing you want to know is…How did they finish the sentence? How did they fill in the blank?