What if a better marriage didn’t demand a major over-haul? What if you could have a better marriage by making small changes?
I believe that small changes can have a big impact in marriage. Think about it this way…if a plane leaving L.A. for N.Y changes it’s course by just a degree or two, it will end up in a completely different part of the world! Small changes can be very powerful.
Is there a way we can be confident we’re giving the right gift every time…no matter what?
We’re just a few days away from Christmas, and perhaps you’re still out there scrounging to find that last-minute perfect gift for someone.
Finding the right gift for that right person seems to come naturally for some. But for many of us, we struggle with finding the right gift. We worry… “What if they don’t like it?” “What if it’s the wrong size.” “What if they already have one?” After all, none of us wants to give a gift that will later surface at some white elephant gift exchange!
So back to the question. Is there something we can give that we can be confident will be the right gift every time? I think there is.
When I say marriage and sex should go together, you may think, “Well duh. That’s a no-brainer!” But there are too many times where marriage and sex don’t necessarily go together…or at least not well.
If you haven’t noticed, I’m a big fan of marriage. I’m like the person who finds a reason to root for their favorite team, even if their team isn’t doing so well.
But many of the people who come to my office thinking about divorce can’t find a reason to root for the team. They can’t find a reason to stay together.
It’s difficult to find a reason to stay married when your feeling the accumulation of hurt, neglect, anger, betrayal, and general ill will. But I encourage couples to look hard to find a reason to stay together.
Typically, the more time you spend on something the better it gets. This can be true in marriage. Generally, when husbands and wives spend more time together their marriage gets better.
But in many marriages, spouses tend to short change their time together. Why is that?
I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, but I’ve talked to people who have and they tell me it’s breathtaking. They say you’ll stand in awe of the beauty of this masterpiece of creation.
Yet if you lived there all your life, the familiarity would probably cause it to seem less breathtaking. You would probably focus more on jagged rocks, dust and dirt, lack of greenery, over abundance of tourists…you get the idea.
We do the same thing in marriage.
I heard an interview the other day with a doctor who had gone to Syria to take care of children caught in the war there. The doctor spoke of children and families being torn apart, physically, emotionally and relationally by the on-going war. There may be times when war is unavoidable, but it’s never good.
The same is true when marriages “got to war.”
Have you ever been listening to someone talk about something and thought to yourself, “Come on! Just get to the point! What’s the bottom line?!” Well, for the last 3 posts we’ve been talking about how to better live with your in-laws and now it’s time to get to the point. What’s the bottom line on how to better live with your in-laws? Believe it or not, it really all boils down to one principle, one practice, and one parting thought.
In the last post, we talked about the tug-of-war that comes with learning to live with your in-laws. In this post, we’ll look at 5 steps to improve your relationship with your in-laws. You may be thinking, “It can’t be that easy!” Well, notice that I said 5 steps to improve the relationship, not 5 steps to make the relationship the way you want it to be. So, let’s look at the 5 steps.
In the last post, we began looking at how to better live with your in-laws. When you get married, in-laws are part of the package. There can can be some really good things about your in-laws, and there can be some really difficult things about your in-laws. Unfortunately, you get both. It’s a package deal.
Marriage initiates two new tensions into your life. Each of these tensions is like an internal tug-of-war that you can’t avoid. Let’s look at the two primary areas where you’ll feel this tug-of-war.