These decisions come in a variety of shapes and sizes.
There are minor decisions like: Where do we go to eat? Who cleans up after the dog? What movie will we watch? Who will take out the trash?
Then there are major decisions like: Is it time to have a baby? Should we change careers and move? What should we do about our wayward teen? How do we care for our aging parents?
Emojis are the little faces and symbols we use to clarify the intent and feeling behind the words we text, tweet, and post. It was once just elementary school children who drew smiley faces on ruled paper, but now CEO’s in suits are tacking these little faces on the end of their electronic communications. Emojis are the hieroglyphics of our time.
Wouldn’t it be great if emoji’s showed up on your spouse’s forehead to tell you what they were thinking and feeling? Think about it! No more wondering what’s really going on behind their words and actions.
Have you ever regretted something, and the more you thought about it the more you found yourself saying, “If only”? Maybe it was something you said, or something you did, or a decision you made, but whatever it was left you with regret and the reverberation of “if only.”
We all have those “if only” regrets. They sound something like this:
Some people think that to have the perfect marriage you have to marry the right person. But I don’t think that works. No one’s perfect, and with all the people out there, the odds of finding the right person is pretty slim.
I think to have a perfect marriage you have to do something different. You have to…
I’ve seen engaged couples believe they couldn’t get married until they had purchased a three bedroom, two bath home. I’ve seen couples expecting a child purchase a bigger home for more bedrooms, bigger yard, better neighborhood, a pool, or a playroom.
It’s as if we believe we can’t have a good marriage and family unless we have the “right” house.
We decide to get married because we’re looking for something and we believe we’ve found it in our spouse. But a few years into the marriage, we’re still looking for something and we’re wondering why our spouse is withholding it. What happened?
There’s a general principle in life and marriage, and it’s this: we tend to find what we’re looking for. It was true when you were dating, and it’s still true now in your marriage. But what happens is we change what we’re looking for.
I don’t write much about sex in this blog. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with the topic. Maybe it’s because I know a lot of wives read this blog and I don’t want to come across as the “typical male who’s only thinking about one thing.” Maybe it’s because there’s so much out there on sex and marriage I don’t know what else to add to the topic. Maybe it’s because I know my wife reads this blog and I don’t want to wind up in the dog house or be reminded of how much I don’t know.
But whatever the reason, we need to talk about sex, because it’s an important part of marriage.
As we come to the end of this series (I can almost hear you cheering) it seems appropriate that we finish by talking about the ending of your marriage story.
But just having the parts of a good marriage story does not magically make the story, anymore than having the ingredients for a good cake magically makes the cake. You have to do something with those parts. You must take action and make the most of what you have if you’re going to make a great marriage story.