How to Better Live With Your In-Laws: Tug-of-War

Tug of warIn the last post, we began looking at how to better live with your in-laws. When you get married, in-laws are part of the package. There can can be some really good things about your in-laws, and there can be some really difficult things about your in-laws. Unfortunately, you get both. It’s a package deal.

Marriage initiates two new tensions into your life. Each of these tensions is like an internal tug-of-war that you can’t avoid. Let’s look at the two primary areas where you’ll feel this tug-of-war.

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Bullet Points for Life

List on Clipboard with PencilI know life is too complex to be reduced to a few bullet points of simple advice. That kind of thing usually bothers me. But sometimes you just need something quick and simple to hold on to. So here are a few bullet points for life that will help you change your thinking and take some pressure off…

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How to Better Live With Your In-Laws

Happy African Family“Meet the Parents” is a movie that looks at learning to accept and be accepted by future in-laws.  The movie is funny at times, awkward at times and down right painful at times.  Hopefully your experience with in-laws has been better.

When my wife and I announced to her parents we were getting married, (yeah, I know…we should have asked rather than announce) they were not overjoyed.

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Discontentment

soccerDiscontentment is dissatisfaction with the current situation. It can be the push we need to make things better, or the pull we feel that makes things worse. It can be our fuel or our failure.

Discontentment is a powerful motivator. JFK used discontentment to help our country put a man on the moon. Advertising uses discontentment to convince us that what we have is not good enough. Spouses use discontentment to either improve their marriage or end their marriage.

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Fear of Failure?

Refused to accept failureWe all want to be successful, whether it’s in business, raising kids, or marriage.  We often hesitate to do something if we’re not sure it’s the “right” thing to do, because we equate unsuccessful attempts with failure.

When you equate unsuccessful attempts with failure, then you play it safe. You shy way from trying new and different things so as to not fail. The end result is that your life and your options become more constricted and you become less free.

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Choice

Three colored plastic cups with sphere. Right choiceSome of the best marriage advice I’ve ever received came from Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead. (For those who don’t know, The Grateful Dead is a psychedelic rock band that came to fame in the midst of the drug culture of the 60’s.) In Garcia’s self-titled 1972 solo album, a song entitled “Deal” contained the following lyric…

“Since it costs a lot to win, and even more to lose, you and me got to spend some time wondering what to choose.”

When you apply this line to marriage, it’s some of the best advice you’ll find, because it reminds us…

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