It was a simple question: “Can I help?” But one young man breathed new life into my soul with that simple question. I was out raking my yard…
But first, I should let you know that I hate doing yard work. I put it off as long as I can and hope the neighbors don’t storm my house with torches and pitch forks. I should also let you know that I’m much older than I used to be and more out of shape than I’ve ever been. Anyway, back to the story…
Is there a way we can be confident we’re giving the right gift every time…no matter what?
We’re just a few days away from Christmas, and perhaps you’re still out there scrounging to find that last-minute perfect gift for someone.
Finding the right gift for that right person seems to come naturally for some. But for many of us, we struggle with finding the right gift. We worry… “What if they don’t like it?” “What if it’s the wrong size.” “What if they already have one?” After all, none of us wants to give a gift that will later surface at some white elephant gift exchange!
So back to the question. Is there something we can give that we can be confident will be the right gift every time? I think there is.
How do you decorate for Christmas? Drive onto my street any evening in mid December and you will find most of the houses brightly decorated with Christmas lights and decorations. It’s like a wintery fairy land.
Still, there are a few of us in the neighborhood who don’t do that.
When I say marriage and sex should go together, you may think, “Well duh. That’s a no-brainer!” But there are too many times where marriage and sex don’t necessarily go together…or at least not well.
Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to do something you didn’t want to do? Maybe it was to clean up your room, or to take a bath, or to do your homework. Whatever it was, you just didn’t want to do it.
So what would you do? You would stall. You would “forget.” You would try to get around it. Maybe you would even feel a surge of independence and say, “I don’t want to!” To which your parent would say something like, “I don’t care if you don’t want to. Do it anyway!” And you would wind up having to do it, but you would tell yourself, “When I become an adult, I won’t do things I don’t want to do!”
If you haven’t noticed, I’m a big fan of marriage. I’m like the person who finds a reason to root for their favorite team, even if their team isn’t doing so well.
But many of the people who come to my office thinking about divorce can’t find a reason to root for the team. They can’t find a reason to stay together.
It’s difficult to find a reason to stay married when your feeling the accumulation of hurt, neglect, anger, betrayal, and general ill will. But I encourage couples to look hard to find a reason to stay together.
There’s something magical about social media. For instance, it’s magical that no matter where you are, you can post a message and instantly connect with people all over the globe.
But there is a part of social media magic that concerns me.
Typically, the more time you spend on something the better it gets. This can be true in marriage. Generally, when husbands and wives spend more time together their marriage gets better.
But in many marriages, spouses tend to short change their time together. Why is that?