It happens. You open up your news feed or turn on the news, and you hear about someone with a lot of promise and with everything going for them who threw it all away on bad choices and wrong living. It’s not only sad, it’s mystifying. All you can do is shake your head and think, “What a waste!”
This is the feeling you get from 1 Kings chapter 14. Both Jeroboam and Rehoboam had been given great opportunities. God had given each of them a kingdom and a promise to meet their needs and desires if they would simply follow and obey Him. Yet, they took God’s goodness toward them as a sign they were invincible and they did whatever they wanted.
We can read 1 Kings chapter 14 and say, “What a waste,” but aren’t we prone to demonstrate the same type of behavior?
When things are going well, we tend to let down our guard and become less disciplined and vigilant. We do more of what we want to do and less of what we need to do, acting as if God’s blessings are going to just keep coming…even though our actions are less and less worthy of blessing.
We must remember that every blessing we experience is a gift from God. (James 1:17) We need to realize that we have been bought with the great price of Christ’s life. We should honor and obey God out of gratitude, rather than honor ourselves by doing whatever we want. (1 Cor. 6:20)
Don’t take for granted the blessings of God and your need to gratefully obey His directions. Don’t live your life in such a way that someone might someday look at your life and say, “What a waste!”
I don’t know about you, but when I hear the phrase “spice up your marriage,” the first thing that comes to my mind is coming home from work and finding my wife in the kitchen wearing nothing but an apron and a smile. (Sorry…too much information.)
Well, let me say before we go any further…this post is not about sex. So, wives, you can relax; and husbands, you can be disappointed.
But I believe that if you take this post to heart and begin to practice some of the things we’re going to talk about, it can be an easy way to spice up your marriage.
COMMON COURTESY
Believe it or not, one of the easiest ways to spice up your marriage is by practicing common courtesy. You’ve done this in the past when you were dating, and hopefully, you’re still doing it.
What Is Common courtesy?
Common courtesy is showing simple acts of kindness, politeness, and deference toward your spouse. It’s things like:
Saying thank you.
Holding the door.
Asking if you can help.
Complimenting.
Letting them go first.
Asking them what they would like to do.
Refreshing their drink.
Clearing the table.
Impromptu texts or calls to say, “I love you.”
Washing their car.
Letting them choose the movie or music.
Asking for forgiveness.
Saying excuse me.
Greeting them with a hug and a smile when they come home (even if your clothes are on.)
You can build your own list because common courtesy is as different and varied as marriage itself.
As I said, this is something we all did early in the relationship. It’s part of the reason we fell so in love with one another. But the longer we’re married, the more we let time, responsibilities, stressors, children, and fatigue crowd out common courtesy in our marriage.
Why is Common Courtesy Important?
When we let common courtesy slip, it begins to dull our feelings of love for one another.
You may be thinking…
“Yeah, but we’ve been married for a long time. They know I love them. Is it really that important that I keep doing these things?”
And the answer is…YES! Common courtesy is important because it adds the everyday spices a marriage needs. What are those spices?
Honor. Common courtesy is an everyday way of honoring your spouse.
Value. Common courtesy is an everyday way of showing you value your spouse.
Blessing. Common courtesy is an everyday way of blessing your spouse.
Sacrifice. Common courtesy is an everyday way of showing simple, on-going sacrifice.
Love. Common courtesy is an everyday way of demonstrating basic, boots-on-the-ground love.
Modeling. Common courtesy is an everyday way of modeling all the above, not just for your spouse, but for your children.
These are the daily spices you can add to your marriage by showing common courtesy. Doing this on a daily basis can help awaken a sleeping marriage and strengthen a good marriage because it shows your spouse they’re too important to overlook. And when they know that, they will tend to do the same for you.
A FINAL THOUGHT
Let’s be honest. This is not a big ask. It’s one of the simplest and easiest things you can do to invest in your marriage. It’s cheaper than marriage retreats, counseling, and divorce. It doesn’t cost you anything!
So do something simple, easy, and inexpensive to spice up your marriage. Spice up your marriage by showing common courtesy to your spouse. Who knows…it might lead to even spicier things!
Some people make things harder than they have to be. These people complicate things by ignoring suggestions and instructions. They like doing things their own way. They open the box and begin putting pieces together, without reading the instructions.
In Deuteronomy chapter 1, Moses begins a speech to the Israelites who are preparing to cross over into the Promised Land. In the speech, Moses reminds them that the generations before them had made things harder than they needed to be. They had turned an eleven day trip into a forty year trip, because they chose to do things their own way, rather than follow God’s lead.
God had their blessing in hand and was holding it out to them. He promised to pave the way and handle the difficulties they would face. All they had to do was go and occupy.
But their fear and discouragement led them to doubt God. They refuse His direction…and thus His blessing. So the previous generation spent forty years wandering in the wilderness, never receiving what God longed to give them.
I have a feeling I would be shocked and dismayed at how much un-necessary wandering I’ve done, simply because I was afraid to go and occupy. How many times during a single day does God hold some blessing out before me and longs for me to make it my own, only to see me wander and stumble trying to do things my own way.
God, help us to hear the words “Go and occupy” at every turn, and to respond without hesitation.
What is it that God is calling you to do that you’re hesitating to do? Spend this week asking God to give you the courage to step out in faith.
