I don’t know about you, but when I hear the phrase “spice up your marriage,” the first thing that comes to my mind is coming home from work and finding my wife in the kitchen wearing nothing but an apron and a smile. (Sorry…too much information.)
Well, let me say before we go any further…this post is not about sex. So, wives, you can relax; and husbands, you can be disappointed.
But I believe that if you take this post to heart and begin to practice some of the things we’re going to talk about, it can be an easy way to spice up your marriage.
Believe it or not, one of the easiest ways to spice up your marriage is by practicing common courtesy. You’ve done this in the past when you were dating, and hopefully, you’re still doing it.
What Is Common courtesy?
Common courtesy is showing simple acts of kindness, politeness, and deference toward your spouse. It’s things like:
- Saying thank you.
- Holding the door.
- Asking if you can help.
- Letting them go first.
- Asking them what they would like to do.
- Refreshing their drink.
- Clearing the table.
- Impromptu texts or calls to say, “I love you.”
- Washing their car.
- Letting them choose the movie or music.
- Asking for forgiveness.
- Saying excuse me.
- Greeting them with a hug and a smile when they come home (even if your clothes are on.)
You can build your own list because common courtesy is as different and varied as marriage itself.
As I said, this is something we all did early in the relationship. It’s part of the reason we fell so in love with one another. But the longer we’re married, the more we let time, responsibilities, stressors, children, and fatigue crowd out common courtesy in our marriage.
Why is Common Courtesy Important?
When we let common courtesy slip, it begins to dull our feelings of love for one another.
You may be thinking…
“Yeah, but we’ve been married for a long time. They know I love them. Is it really that important that I keep doing these things?”
And the answer is…YES! Common courtesy is important because it adds the everyday spices a marriage needs. What are those spices?
- Honor. Common courtesy is an everyday way of honoring your spouse.
- Value. Common courtesy is an everyday way of showing you value your spouse.
- Blessing. Common courtesy is an everyday way of blessing your spouse.
- Sacrifice. Common courtesy is an everyday way of showing simple, on-going sacrifice.
- Love. Common courtesy is an everyday way of demonstrating basic, boots-on-the-ground love.
- Modeling. Common courtesy is an everyday way of modeling all the above, not just for your spouse, but for your children.
These are the daily spices you can add to your marriage by showing common courtesy. Doing this on a daily basis can help awaken a sleeping marriage and strengthen a good marriage because it shows your spouse they’re too important to overlook. And when they know that, they will tend to do the same for you.
A FINAL THOUGHT
Let’s be honest. This is not a big ask. It’s one of the simplest and easiest things you can do to invest in your marriage. It’s cheaper than marriage retreats, counseling, and divorce. It doesn’t cost you anything!
So do something simple, easy, and inexpensive to spice up your marriage. Spice up your marriage by showing common courtesy to your spouse. Who knows…it might lead to even spicier things!