Month: November 2017

Are You A Good Lover?

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How am I suppose to find the answer to the question, “Are you a good lover?”

If I ask myself that question, my pride and ego would give a resounding “YES!” But if I’m honest, after thirty-seven years of marriage, I still feel awkward and clueless at times.

If I ask my wife that question, she would probably assure me that I’m a good lover. But how do I know she’s not just sparing my feelings. What if, after I go to sleep, she’s shaking her head in sad disbelief?

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Exodus 16 – The Lessons of Manna

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Any time you begin something new (a new school, a new job, a new marriage, etc.) there are always some lessons you need to learn to help you do well in that new thing.
In Exodus 16, the Children of Israel were embarking on something brand new, and there were some basic lessons God wanted them to learn from the beginning. So God provided a food called manna that would show up every morning. They were only to gather enough for that day. If they gathered more than they needed for the day, it would spoil. But God gave them manna, not only to feed them, but to teach them the following lessons:
  1. The Provider is more important than the provision. An abundance of provision still will not satisfy our hunger for something more. That satisfaction can only be found in the Provider…God (Luke 12:15)
  2. We can trust God to faithfully provide for our needs. God does not take pleasure in withholding good things from His children, but in providing the good things we need. (Ps. 103:1-5)
  3. Though we can trust God to faithfully provide for our needs, God does not obligate Himself to provide all of our wants. Nor does God obligate Himself to provide things ahead of time. Yes, God often provides so many of our wants, rather quickly. But He is not obligated to do so.
  4. We are to demonstrate our trust in God through our obedience to Him. True trust is believing in God so deeply that we do what He tells us to do, rather than what we want to do. Doing things our own way produces fleeting results that leave us unfulfilled, but doing things His way results in our deeper satisfaction.
I’m sure there were many other lessons God was teaching His children through the marvelous medium of manna, but following these four simple lessons will change the way we see and respond to life and God.
Think about the last time you grumbled about something in you life. This is probably an area where you need a refresher course on the lessons of manna.

 

Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.

Gratitude is a Great Attitude for Marriage

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On Thanksgiving Day, it’s good to look at the role gratitude plays in marriage. Many marriages are unhappy, not because of big things like abuse or affairs, but because of a little thing like a lack of gratitude.

Around 2008, Neil Pasricha was having a difficult time in life. His marriage was failing, his best friend committed suicide, and the market was threatening his job. Falling into depression, Neil realized he needed to do something to turn his attitude and life around. So, as a first step, he started a seemingly insignificant website called 1000awesomethings.com.

There, Neil began to build a list of things he was grateful for…both big and small. Things like:

  • When the police car that’s been following you for miles finally goes around you.
  • When the mug you’re warming up in the microwave stops with the handle facing you.
  • When the nostril that’s been plugged up for so long, suddenly opens up.
  • When you hit something with your car and there’s somehow no damage.
  • When you pick the fastest moving line at the grocery store.
  • When you’re on vacation and finally forget what day of the week it is.

He listed one thousand such things, and so many people resonated with these often overlooked reasons for gratitude that Neil’s website exploded. Eventually, his website generated a book entitled The Book of Awesome, which made the New York Times best seller list. All because he pointed out that we have more for which to be grateful than we stop to realize.

In marriage, we are often more unhappy with what we don’t have, than happy with what we do have. We have so many things in our marriages to be grateful for, yet when we don’t get something we want, we feel slighted and cheated. And the more we have, the less grateful we seem to be.

“The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” – Eric Hoffer.

But gratitude is important in marriage, because…

  • It changes your focus. Gratitude causes you to focus on all the good things you like and have, rather than all the things you don’t like or don’t have.
  • It leads you to appreciate who and what you have. The more you focus on the things for which you have to be grateful, the more you appreciate them.
  • It lightens your mood. Your appreciation for what you have will begin to root out your complaining and frustration…which will lighten your mood. This will make you easier to live with, not to mention more attractive.
  • It makes you more of a giving spouse. When you see all you have to be grateful for, you tend to be less self-centered and self-focused. It’s more easy to give of yourself, because you see how much you’ve been given.

Even Scripture stresses the importance of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us:

 “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 

I know there are a lot of things that go into marital unhappiness, that don’t elicit our gratitude. But note that the passage doesn’t say to be thankful for every circumstance, but rather to be thankful in every circumstance…which would include the difficult ones.

What if you could begin to turn around your dissatisfaction in marriage with something as simple as learning to be more grateful for the many good things you have. What if you could enjoy your marriage more simply by changing your attitude to gratitude?

If you need to be more grateful in your marriage, take these two simple steps:

  • Assess. Begin by making a list of all the things you have to be thankful for in your marriage. Big and small, don’t leave anything out. As you make your list, ask yourself what would life be like if you didn’t have these things, or if your spouse didn’t do those things for which you’re grateful.
  • Express. William A. Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Get in the habit of expressing gratitude for the things on your list. You would be surprised by the power a simple, heartfelt “thank you” has on your spouse. Not only will expressing gratitude affirm and encourage your spouse, it will improve your attitude as well. Donald Curtis said, “It is impossible to be negative while we are giving thanks.”

So many marriages could be strengthened if spouses simply became more grateful for what they have and more faithful to express that gratitude. When it comes to marriage, gratitude is a great attitude!

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” – William A. Ward.

If you or your marriage needs a does of gratitude, let me challenge you to do the following: Get a small notebook. Everyday, list five things about your spouse and/or your marriage for which you’re grateful. Don’t repeat anything on your list. Everyday, express your gratitude to your spouse. Do this for 30 days. I can almost guarantee that by the end of 30 days, you will be different, and consequently so will your marriage.

Copyright © 2017 Bret Legg

Exodus 15 – How’s Your Short Term Memory?

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There was an old Saturday Night Live sketch with Tom Hanks called “Mr. Short Term Memory.” It was about a man who only held things in his memory for a few seconds, and then totally forgot them. Can you imagine how frustrating it would be to deal with such a person?
In Exodus chapter 15, the Israelites are much like Mr. Short Term Memory. They had witnessed and walked through one of the most awesome miracles known to mankind…the parting of the Red Sea. This miracle proved God could do anything. Then, just three days later, they are complaining about not having anything to drink; as if the God who parted the Red Sea couldn’t handle a drink of water. Talk about short term memory! Just three days!
Why is it we’re so quick to forget God’s mighty power and provision in our lives? Why is it we’re so quick to forget the love and strength by which He promises to guide us? (Exodus 15:13)
In the flesh, we tend to focus on what we can touch and see. But we are called to live by faith, not by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7) (Rom. 1:17) We are called to live by faith rather than flesh. This means we must operate on what we know about God, rather than what we know about our circumstances.
Seeing only what is in front of you leads to forgetting the God who is ahead of you. This type of short-term memory leads to short-term faith…operating on the circumstances you see, rather then the God you don’t.
The Israelites forgot the Red Sea miracle in just three days. What has God done for you that you are you too quickly forgetting?

 

Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.