There are car commercials that tell you how their car can go from zero to sixty in so many seconds. Then there are car commercials that tell you how their car can quickly and safely come to a stop…from sixty to zero in so many seconds.
Zero to sixty is not just for cars. Marriages can go from zero to sixty and from sixty to zero. The normal pattern of marriage is to go from sixty to zero. Here’s what I mean by that…
Ever feel like your life was in a rut? I was struck by that feeling this morning as I grabbed my usual stuff and headed out the usual door at the usual time to do my usual job. Don’t get me wrong, I really love my work and I can’t imagine doing anything else. Still it’s easy to feel stuck in the “same old, same old.”
The same can be true in marriage.
Right after we married, my wife and I moved 650 miles from home and I went to work in the oil fields of Oklahoma. Being young and inexperienced, they put me with an older man who could show me the ropes.
I would arrive at a job site and eagerly jump out of the truck to get started. But this man would make me slow down and say something like, “Here are some things you need to know about this job.” He didn’t tell me everything I needed to know about the job, but he told me the few big things I needed to know to make the job go better.
I wish someone would have come to me before I got married and said, “Here are some things you need to know about marriage.
Parents spend a lot of time and energy teaching the importance of manners to their children. Parents constantly remind their children to say “please,” “thank you,” and “may I.” They stress the importance of not interrupting someone and sharing things with others. Manners are a big deal to parents.
But Look at all the things children must learn and master over the course of their life:
“And they all lived happily ever after.” We’ve heard these word as children, when our parents would read us our favorited story for the umpteenth time. We’ve heard these words as parents, as we’ve read our own child’s favorite story for the umpteenth time.
“Happily ever after” are the words that bring closure to the story. They are the words that resolve the dissonant chords of the story. They are the words that say, “Everything’s alright now.” They are the words we all look for. They are the words we all long for.
The dreaded check engine light. I don’t know about you, but I hate the check engine light. I always fear the worst when I see it. It’s like the amber light of doom to me.
But despite how I feel about the check engine light, it really is my friend. It lets me know something is wrong so I can fix it before it gets worse. It’s much better to have a check engine light come on, then to have the car blow up suddenly without warning.
Thankfully, each marriage comes equipped with a check engine light.
Ever find yourself just going through the motions? You’re doing what you’re suppose to do. You’re doing what others expect you to do. But you’re only doing it so others will think well of you.
Externally things look good, but internally things are not as good as they appear. You’re living behind the smoke screen of a good public persona, but it’s not really who you are.
Are you a flaw finder? Do you focus more on what’s wrong than what’s right? Do you point out problems more than pinpoint positives?
Last week I posted what I thought would be my last post in the “What I’ve Learned About Marriage From Buying a House” series. We’ve been in the house for about 4 weeks and I just figured that ship had sailed. But as we’ve settled in, there’s been one more lesson that continues to come up.
Here’s a question for you: are you taking in life or are you taken in by life? Everyone does a little of both, but you probably lean toward one more than the other. Though they sound similar, there’s a subtle difference between the two that can change the way you live. What’s the difference?
Well, we’re in our new house! Not everything is put away yet, but it’s livable and we can get both cars in the garage! So, I’ll close this series with one final lesson I’ve learned from this experience. What I’ve learned about marriage from buying a house is that it’s easy to let routine take over your marriage.