The Valentines Day That Never Was

disappointed asian woman with empty red gift boxValentines Day is over. But for my wife and me, it it was the Valentines Day that never was. More on that in a minute.

Reactions to Valentines day can be mixed and varied. Some look forward to the special attention. Some dread the pressure of trying to come up with something special. Some look forward to the sexual expectations. Some dread the sexual expectations. In short, Valentines Day can be a mixed bag.

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Little Things

Fastening Her NecklaceEvery so often, I run a post on Normal Marriage that starts with these words…”Little things mean a lot.” I do this because it’s really easy to focus on the big things in marriage (communication, conflict, sex, etc.) and forget that the little things are just as important…if not more so.

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Schedule Times for Sex

do not disturbTwo weeks ago we talked about making an appointment to spend time with your spouse. Last week we talked about scheduling dates with your spouse. This week we talk about scheduling times for sex with your spouse.

Now I am not talking about making sex as mundane or routine as taking out the trash every Tuesday night. I’m talking about giving sex with your spouse the time and attention it deserves and needs.

Marital satisfaction is affected by sexual satisfaction. Most married couples know this instinctively, but still tend to resist scheduling times from sex. Here are some of the things I’ve heard from couples when it comes to scheduling times for sex…

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Make an Appointment to Date Your Spouse

Lovely interracial couple having lunchIn my last Normal Marriage post, I said I would follow it up with a post on why spouses should make an appointment for sex. I’m pushing that post back one week so we can first talk about the need to make an appointment to date your spouse.

When you and your spouse first met, date night was the highlight of your week. But once you were engaged, going home at the end of the date was frustrating. You were ready to be married so you didn’t have to date anymore. Now that you’re married, you see each other all the time. So why schedule dates?

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Make an Appointment

Save the Date Words Circled on Calendar Red MarkerIs your marriage crazy busy? Even if it’s not, you need to make an appointment to spend time with your spouse and family.

The other day, my eight-year-old granddaughter called me at work. When I answered the phone, I heard her bright and chipper voice say, “Hello Poppy!” After I said hello back, she got straight to the point of her call. “I need to talk to you,” she said. I was a little taken aback by her abruptness. After a second or two of silence, I said, “OK.” Then she bluntly said, “So when can I talk to you?”

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User Friendly Spouse?

antisocial latin couple while on laptop and tabletI’m an Apple Computer guy. From my very first MacBook years ago, I’ve been smitten with Apple products. Why? Basically because I find them to be very user friendly.

You may not care what brand of computer you use. You may not even care about computers in general, but if you’re married you do need to care about being more user friendly.

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Small Changes Can Have A Big Impact

Own House Dreams

What if a better marriage didn’t demand a major over-haul? What if you could have a better marriage by making small changes?

I believe that small changes can have a big impact in marriage. Think about it this way…if a plane leaving L.A. for N.Y changes it’s course by just a degree or two, it will end up in a completely different part of the world! Small changes can be very powerful.

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Patterns

Hand stopping dominoes falling isolated on whiteThis time of the year, there’s a lot of talk about new year’s resolutions. Lose weight. Get organized. Eat healthy. Get on a budget. The list is long and varied, but the goal of each resolution is the same…a big change in some area of our life.

I heard a statistic that said 60% of people who make a new year’s resolution have abandoned it within six months. (Been there. Done that.)

Why do so many of us abandon our resolutions? They’re good resolutions. Important resolutions. What happens?

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Can I Help?

Fall leaves with rakeIt was a simple question: “Can I help?” But one young man breathed new life into my soul with that simple question. I was out raking my yard…

But first, I should let you know that I hate doing yard work. I put it off as long as I can and hope the neighbors don’t storm my house with torches and pitch forks. I should also let you know that I’m much older than I used to be and more out of shape than I’ve ever been. Anyway, back to the story…

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