communication

Glory Days

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Glory days are defined as “times in the past that are regarded as being better than the present.”

Glory days can be that winning pass of the high school championship, that time we were big on campus and had the hot date, or that carefree summer we spent at the beach with friends. Whatever they may be, we all have glory days in the past that seem better than the present.

As a married couple, you have glory days. Maybe it was when you were dating and everything was fresh and new. Maybe it was the excitement of your wedding day. Maybe it was the early days of marriage when hope and passion were always high.

But what if those glory days now seem like a distant memory? What if those glory days have been replaced with marital conflict, parenting demands, financial pressure, and work stress. What if the days of passion have changed from “I can’t beat them off with a stick” to “I want to beat them up with a stick?”

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3-Way Love

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Before you misinterpret the title of this post, let me explain. This post is not about making love to two other people at the same time. It’s about making love to one person for a very long time. Wait… that didn’t sound right either. Let me start again.

There are 3 ways of displaying love to your spouse….not to be confused with what Dr. Gary Chapman describes as the 5 Love Languages. (All of a sudden, love is starting to sound a lot like math.) Anyway, as I was saying, the three ways of love are:

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Magic Moments in Marriage

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Marriages need magic moments. (I know that sounds like a Cialis or Viagra commercial, but stay with me.)

If I asked you, “What are the magic moments in your marriage?” how would you answer? Would you talk about your wedding day? Your honeymoon? The birth of a child? Unexpected blessings? Tragedy narrowly averted? A special vacation? The birth of grandchildren? Retirement?

These are the things we typically think about when we think of magic moments in marriage, but these are too few and too far between. What if it were in your power to create magic moments in your marriage more frequently and more regularly?

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The Light and Dark Side of the Force

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One major theme runs throughout the Star Wars story line. It’s that there is a struggle between the light side of the force and a dark side of the force.

The same is true in marriage. I’m not saying that spouses should solve their conflicts with light sabers (although that would be cool,) I’m saying these forces are just as powerful as the light sabers.

What are these two marital forces?

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Is Your Marriage Approaching Zero Gravity? – Part 1

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When I hear the word “gravity,” I think of different things. I think of an apple falling on Newton’s head. I think of the John Mayer song, “Gravity.” I think of giant pieces of space junk falling from the sky and wiping out my house…and my homeowners insurance refusing to cover it.

But I don’t usually think of marriage when I hear the word, “gravity.” What does gravity have to do with marriage any way…aside from the fact it bears down on all of us, causing us to shrink and sag?

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How to Remove That Fishy Smell in Marriage

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In my last Normal Marriage post, I talked about the fishy smell that occurs in marriage when you run away from something you know you need to do. In that post, we talked about how to avoid that fishy smell.

But what if you didn’t get the post in time and your marriage already smells fishy? How do you remove the smell?

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Change Your Gratitude

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Have you ever wished you could change your marriage? Maybe you were at odds with your spouse or maybe your marriage had just become mundane and predictable. Whatever it was, you didn’t like the way things were and you wished you could change things.

In a TED Talk entitled “The 3 A’s of Awesome,” Neil Pasricha tells of a time when his life needed a change. A difficult economy had cost him his job, his best friend had committed suicide and his marriage was falling apart.

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How to Move From a Marriage That’s Stuck to a Marriage That Sticks

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Ok, confession time. When I was a teenager, I got stuck parking. I’m not talking about parking your car in a parking spot at Walmart. I’m talking about getting stuck on some deserted back road because I wanted to “spend some time” with a girl.

I will avoid the details to spare myself the painful self-disclosure, but I remember that feeling of being stuck. My first thought was, “This is no big deal. I’ll just get out and rock the car a little.” When that didn’t work, I thought, “Ok. I just need a little traction.” So I put rocks, limbs, and anything I could find under the rear wheels to give me some traction. Then I got behind the car to push, telling my girlfriend to give it some gas. Those of you who are smarter than me can guess what happened next. I was bathed in a hail of mud, rocks, and sticks…but the car remained stuck.

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How to Improve Your Marriage Pictures

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We’ve all had our share of bad photos. Think back to your fashion-questionable high school days, or those family portraits that looked more like the Adams Family than a happy family. It’s safe to say we all have pictures we would like to delete from the archives.

The other day, I came across The 50 Weirdest Engagement Portraits Of All Time. It’s just what it says…50 very weird engagement photos. They are painful to look at and they leave you asking, “What were they thinking?”

All this got me wondering, “What would pictures of my marriage look like over the years?”

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