What If We Built Our Marriage On Pooh?

Winnie the Pooh is a classic in children’s literature. As young children, we listened to adults read the great adventures of Pooh and his friends. As older children, we sat transfixed in front of a screen as Walt Disney made those adventures come to life. Then, as parents, we read those same adventures to our children.

But we rarely inject these stories into our marriage. What if the stories of Winnie the Pooh have something to say to our marriage? What if we built our marriage on Pooh?

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Magic Moments in Marriage

Marriages need magic moments. (I know that sounds like a Cialis or Viagra commercial, but stay with me.)

If I asked you, “What are the magic moments in your marriage?” how would you answer? Would you talk about your wedding day? Your honeymoon? The birth of a child? Unexpected blessings? Tragedy narrowly averted? A special vacation? The birth of grandchildren? Retirement?

These are the things we typically think about when we think of magic moments in marriage, but these are too few and too far between. What if it were in your power to create magic moments in your marriage more frequently and more regularly?

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How to Improve Your Marriage Pictures

We’ve all had our share of bad photos. Think back to your fashion-questionable high school days, or those family portraits that looked more like the Adams Family than a happy family. It’s safe to say we all have pictures we would like to delete from the archives.

The other day, I came across The 50 Weirdest Engagement Portraits Of All Time. It’s just what it says…50 very weird engagement photos. They are painful to look at and they leave you asking, “What were they thinking?”

All this got me wondering, “What would pictures of my marriage look like over the years?”

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These People are Different!

After the cyclone, Dorothy steps out of her dropped and dilapidated house to encounter the Munchkins, slowly coming out of hiding.

They are not like the people she’s use to. Small in stature, they are warm and winsome. But Dorothy soon discovers the Munchkins are far from naive. They have know their own desperate times, and it is this knowledge, coupled with their warmth, that makes them strangely inviting to Dorothy.

As Dorothy is getting use to the Munchkins, another major character comes on the scene. Glenda, the Good Witch of the South. Glenda may seem a little too good to be true, but she does have a calming effect on Dorothy. She helps Dorothy make sense of what has happened. She also tells Dorothy that to find what she wants, she will need to make a difficult journey. Glenda cannot make the journey for Dorothy, but she can monitor Dorothy’s progress and offer help and guidance along the way.

Admitting that sexual abuse is part of your history can feel like stepping into another world. You begin to encounter people (either randomly or in support groups) who have painful stories like yours. It’s as if they begin to come out of hiding. They understand your fear, your lack of trust, your need for control, and your defensiveness. They are kindred spirits who warmly open up to you…to the point that they can be a little unnerving. They are different.

They’re also different in that they are learning to look at what happened to them without being devastated. They’re learning to master their negativity and experience hope. They are also learning to balance caring for others with caring for themselves. As I said…they are different.

If you’re seriously committed to taking the road out of Oz, you will need another different person in your life. Not a good witch, but a counselor. The idea of seeing a counselor may be scary, or make you feel like you’re more messed up than you want to be. But you will need a counselor to help you make sense of things and guide you through the experience. Your counselor can also be there when you need a little extra help on the journey.

On the road out of Oz, you need these different people. You need people who have been where you’ve been, learned things you haven’t learned, and can support you on your journey out of Oz. You also need a counselor who can help you understand what has happened and help you stay on the road out of Oz.