What If We Built Our Marriage On Pooh?

Winnie the Pooh is a classic in children’s literature. As young children, we listened to adults read the great adventures of Pooh and his friends. As older children, we sat transfixed in front of a screen as Walt Disney made those adventures come to life. Then, as parents, we read those same adventures to our children.

But we rarely inject these stories into our marriage. What if the stories of Winnie the Pooh have something to say to our marriage? What if we built our marriage on Pooh?

Before you think I’ve lost my mind, here are a few actions you find in the stories of Winnie the Pooh that you and I should apply to our marriages. Think of them as the A.C.T.S. of Pooh…


The characters in Winnie the Pooh are quite different from one another. There’s the hyper ADHD Tigger, the depressive Eeyore, the somewhat obsessive-compulsive Rabbit, the cautiously anxious Piglet, the rules and regulations owl, the calming Christopher Robin, and the self-focused and self-contemplative Pooh.

Yet, despite their differences and the aggravation those differences sometimes produce, the characters don’t spend a lot of time trying to change one another. They just accept one another…differences and all.

Many a marriage could be improved by spouses learning to accepting one another…differences and all.


Despite their differences, the characters in Winnie the Pooh always find a way to pool their differences and collaborate to accomplish something good. They figure out how to combine their differences and accomplish something that none of them could accomplish on their own.

Your spouse is very different from you. When you were dating, those differences were attractive, because they were something you lacked. But once you married, the differences that once attracted you began to aggravate you.

Still, you need those differences in your spouse. It’s those differences that round out and strengthen your marriage. When you learn to pool your differences and collaborate, you’ll solve more problems and have a better marriage story.


Pooh and his cast of characters do a lot of talking. Even when they don’t understand each other‘s point of view, they still keep talking to one another. Eventually, through all this talking, they come to some kind of consensus.

Most couples do a lot of talking when they’re dating and newly married. But as stressors and difficulties begin to increase, the talking tends to fall off and couples shift to arguing or withdrawing. But arguing and/or withdrawing does not solve problems or make for good stories.

Talking openly, honestly and frequently is the lubrication that makes the gears of marriage turn more easily. If it works for Pooh and his friends, than surly it will work for you.


At times, Pooh and his friends don’t understand one another. At other times, they’re downright frustrated with one another. But they still support one another despite their differences, their misunderstandings, and their frustrations. In short, they have each others back no matter what.

Your spouse needs to know you have their back…even when you disagree with them or are frustrated with them. This builds the trust and cohesion every marriage needs.

You may think I’m stretching this Winnie the Pooh thing to make a point, but I assure you these are important qualities in every Winnie the Pooh story. If you don’t believe me, take the time to read one of those great stories. Even if you prove me wrong, you will enjoy something from your childhood that you haven’t enjoyed in a long time.

It’s my prayer that you take these acts and build a great marriage story as you build your marriage on Pooh.

Here are some questions for you to consider when it comes to your marriage: Which Winnie the Pooh character is your spouse most like? Which character are you most like? Which acts of Pooh do you most need to incorporate in your marriage right now? 

Copyright © 2018 Bret Legg

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