Month: October 2016

Derailing Disappointment

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If you’ve ever been disappointed, you know how easy it is for disappointment to derail you.

I see this with my grandchildren. They always have a list of things they want: “I want to go outside and play.” “I want to go out to eat pizza.” “I want to rent a movie.” “I want a snack.” “I want to spend the night.” If something gets in the way of what they want, it can throw them into a funk from which they have a hard time recovering.

But it’s not just children who struggle with disappointment.

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Genesis 6 – Turn Up the Contrast

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Each evening, I watch the national news on one of the 3 major networks. The pattern for the news broadcast is the same each night. Most of the broadcast is filled with dark and ominous news until you get to the last story. The last story is usually a feel-good story about an everyday person who is making a positive difference in the world. It’s a story meant to contrast all the negative stories that preceded it.
Genesis chapter 6 paints a dark picture of the growing corruption of the day. You read words like: “every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time” (Gen. 6:5) – “Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence.” (Gen. 6:11) – “all the people on earth had corrupted their ways.” (Gen. 6:12)
But there was a man named Noah who stood in contrast to the world around him. In the midst of all the darkness and corruption, Noah is described as righteous and blameless. He is someone who walked with God and did all that God commanded. Because Noah stood in contrast to the world around him, he found favor in God’s eyes and was used to rescue creation itself.
Do you and I stand out in contrast to the world around us, or do we blend into the landscape? Is there a distinct difference between us and the world at large? As followers of Christ, we’ve been given the same covenant and commission as Noah…stand in contrast to the world and be instrumental in its salvation.
Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.

Genesis 5 – Will You Stand Out?

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Reading through a family tree can be a little dull. “Your great, great, great grandfather Joe Smith was born in Kentucky. He grew up and worked in the coal mines. He met a lady named Ann Jones. They married and had three kids. One of those kids was named Ben. Ben grew up and worked…”
But occasionally, there’s an ancestor who stands out. There’s something about their character or conduct that makes them rise above the drone of names, and you’re struck by the impact they had on the family…and eventually you.
Genesis chapter five gives us the family lineage of Noah. Like most family trees, it can be a little dull to read. There’s the name of someone you don’t know. You find out how long they lived before they had a child, and how long they lived after that child. Then they die and the pattern starts all over again with the child.
But in the middle of all the names, one person stands out. His name is Enoch. There’s something different about Enoch. Twice in four verses, we’re told Enoch “walked with God.” (This phrase is not used with the others names in the lineage.) Then it doesn’t say that Enoch died, like everyone else. Instead, we’re told “Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him.” – Genesis 5:24 ESV.
Then the lineage goes on as usual, until you get to Noah. Noah stands out. He is described as “one who will bring relief.” He (like Enoch) is also described as someone who “walked with God.” – Genesis 6:9.
Perhaps there’s a connection between Enoch standing out and Noah standing out.
When your descendants review their family tree, will you stand out above the drone of names as someone who walked with God? Will your life impact future generation to stand out for God?
Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.

A Love-Hate Relationship With Forgiveness

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Most people, whether they are religious or not, would agree that holding a grudge and hanging on to bitterness is not helpful.

In an article entitled Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness the Mayo Clinic gives the following negative effects of holding a grudge:

  • It can bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience.
  • You can become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present.
  • You can become depressed and anxious.
  • You can feel your life lacks meaning or purpose.
  • You can become at odds with your spiritual beliefs.
  • You can lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

Referring to a study on holding grudges from the journal Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, David P. Feldman, Ph.D. states

“…those who said they tended to hold grudges reported higher rates of heart disease and cardiac arrest, elevated blood pressure, stomach ulcers, arthritis, back problems, headaches, and chronic pain than those who didn’t share this tendency. “

So, though holding onto a grudge and refusing to forgive may in some way feel good to us, the truth is it is not good for us. But forgiveness is beneficial to us mentally, emotionally, and physically.

For Christians, forgiveness is also beneficial spiritually. As a Christian, I have been given forgiveness I didn’t deserve and didn’t earn. Out of that undeserved gift, I am to learn to do the same…forgive others who are undeserving. Colossians 3:13

In the model prayer known as The Lord’s Prayer, we are taught to pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12

The Christian has been forgiven, but continues to experience forgiveness as they offer forgiveness.

Forgiving, especially in light of severe trauma, is not easy…even for Christians. Certainly the severity of the offense makes forgiveness difficult. How could such a horrible crime be forgiven?

But there are also certain misconceptions about forgiveness that can impede our ability to forgive. Understanding what forgiveness is and isn’t is an important step toward being able to forgive.

Let’s start with what forgiveness is not.

  • Forgiveness is not condoning the offense. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened to you was ok. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened to you was a small thing. The very fact that forgiveness is needed says that there was a serious offense that cannot be atoned for in any other way.
  • Forgiveness is not excusing the offender. Nothing excuses what your abuser(s) did to you. It was wrong, it will always be wrong, and it can’t be undone. That’s why your only two options are bitterness or forgiveness. Forgiveness is not fair, but it is freeing.
  • Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness releases the expectation and/or the need for the abuser(s) to make some kind of restitution for what they have done. Forgiveness does not require you to restore a relationship with the abuser(s). Reconciliation will depend on the repentance of the abuser(s) and the willingness of the abused, but forgiveness is not dependent on reconciliation. Forgiveness is solely in the hands of the abused.
  • Forgiveness is not dependent on forgetting. Often we are told we need to “forgive and forget.” Or we are told that continuing to remember an offense is a sign that we have not forgiven the offender. Neither of these are true. Forgetting our hurts would keep us from learning and open the door for further traumatization. Throughout Scripture, God constantly remembers and rehearses the offenses of His people. Forgiveness does not override memory. Forgiveness overrules memory.
  • Forgiveness is not a quick, one-time decision. Forgiveness starts with a decision, but from there forgiveness is a process of living out that decision. When the offense is small, the decision and process of forgiveness is relatively short and easy. But when the offense large, as in sexual abuse, reaching the decision to forgive and carrying out that decision can take much more time and effort. Look at the amount of time between when God proposed forgiveness in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3) and when He actually carried it out with the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. As Christians, we are called to forgive completely…not necessarily quickly.

So what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is choosing to give up your right and your need to expect or demand restitution for the wrong that was done to you. Forgiveness is releasing your need to collect on the debt they owe you and in so doing setting yourself free. Forgiveness is a learned and practiced skill. It is totally within your power and ultimately for you more than anyone else.

But having said all this, let me say that no one can pressure you into forgiving your abuser. Forgiveness must be given freely as a voluntary decision and an on-going act of the will.

In his article on holding grudges (quoted above), Dr. Feldman also says

“We’re not implying that victims of crimes, traumas, and atrocities have an obligation to forgive their victimizers. Most experts on the topic of forgiveness agree that nobody should (or even can) be forced to forgive. To do so would be to further victimize the victim. But, to the degree that we naturally feel ready to let go of grudges, it may ultimately be beneficial for us to do so. This isn’t something we do for those who wronged us; it’s something we do for ourselves when and if we’re ready.”

I agree with Dr. Feldman. Forgiveness is not to be forced out of a sense of a sense of duty to the offender, but rather offered as an act of freedom for the abused. Forgiveness allows the victim to move forward without continuing to drag the abuser around with them.

The Power of a Few Seconds

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Sometime back I was listening to a news report about a school shooting when I heard the newscaster say, “It only took 80 seconds for a high school senior to enter the high school, shoot a fellow student and then kill himself.” 80 seconds! Less than a minute and a half! That’s all it took to take two lives, irreversibly devastate two families, and traumatize a school and community forever. Just 80 seconds!

Listening to this story, I was struck by the power of a few seconds and I began to think of other situations effected by the power of a few seconds. A few seconds of distraction behind the wheel. A few seconds of inattention to a safety valve. A few seconds of leaving a child unattended by a swimming pool. There is power in a few seconds.

The same is true for marriage. A few seconds can make all the difference.

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Genesis 4 – Anger Management

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Our world is becoming more and more angry. The news is filled with stories of violent protests, terrorist plots, random shootings, road rage, school bullying and racial hatred.
Just four chapters from creation, you find the first biblical reference to anger. Cain and Able each bring an offering to God. God examines first the person and then their offering and favors Able over Cain. This angers Cain to the point that you can see it on his face.
But notice how God responds to Cain’s anger…
God doesn’t tell Cain to bring a better offering. We think external circumstances are to blame for our anger, but anger originates in us…not outside of us. Instead of telling Cain to bring a better offering, God told Cain to bring a better heart, because anger management starts with heart management.
God doesn’t chastise Cain for his anger. Instead, God tries to help Cain with managing his anger. He points out Cain’s anger, challenges him to figure out why he’s angry and cautions him on how he should respond to his anger.
Cain refuses to heed God’s warning and kills his brother…not because he was angry, but because he didn’t manage his anger.
Ephesians 4:26 (ESV) tells us, “Be angry and do not sin…” How do you do this? Try following the same plan God gave Cain….
  1. Be AWARE of your anger.
  2. ASSOCIATE your anger with what’s going on internally, not externally.
  3. ACT in a way that brings the anger into submission.
Where is anger getting the best of you? Remember God’s words about anger…
“it desires to have you, but you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7b NIV)
Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.

Genesis 3 – A Great Head Fake

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In a lecture entitled “Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” Randy Pausch talked about something he called a “head fake.” A “head fake” is when you think you’re learning about one thing, but you’re actually learning about something different.
Genesis chapter three contains one of the great “head fakes” in the Bible. When you read Genesis chapter three, you learn about the fall of man where Adam and Eve decided to veer from God’s ways and choose their own. Your read about…
  • Eve being enticed to desire what God had prohibited.
  • Eve going rogue and choosing to ignore God’s desires.
  • Adam choosing to follow Eve into rebellion rather than obey God.
  • Their sudden shame and hiding from God and each other.
  • God sending them out of the garden and into a harsh reality.
The entire chapter seems to be about the terrible sin and punishment of Adam and Eve. But here’s the “head fake.” Genesis chapter 3 is about more than just the sin of man. It’s also about the mercy of God. It’s about more than just man’s fall. It’s about God’s lifting. Think about it…
  • God knew what they had done, but He still came to pursue them.
  • God could have laid into them, but He asked them what happened.
  • God could have wiped them out and made someone else who would obey, but He committed to seeing it through with them.
  • God could have left them barely clothed, but instead He clothed them.
  • God could have left them in the garden to eat from the tree of life and thus be stuck in their condition, but he sent them out and guarded the entrance to prevent that from happening.
Our tendency is to fall. God’s tendency is to lift up. Our tendency is to run from Him. His tendency is to run toward us.
Think about how God is showing you mercy, despite your choices.
Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.f

Genesis 2 – Retelling the Story

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One reason to tell the same story twice is that you left something out the first time you told it. When you tell the story a second time, your focus is different from the first telling.
In Genesis chapter 2, God tells the creation story a second time with a different focus. The first time He tells the creation story is in Genesis chapter one. There, He focuses on the reasonable order of creation. The second time He tells the creation story is in Genesis chapter 2. There, He focuses on the relational intent of the creation story. They’re the same story told from different perspectives.
Why is this important? Because it takes both perspectives to properly describe God. God is both reasonable and relational. He is both powerful and personable.
It’s easy to either make God so powerful He’s no longer personable, or to make God so relational that He’s no longer reasonable. We either make Him so much God that He’s no longer Father, or so much Father He’s no longer God.
Let’s not forget that God is both the God who made us and the God who wants to walk with us.
Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.

Genesis 1 – In the Beginning

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Though science and faith argue over how things were created, they both agree there is a reasonableness to creation. They agree there is a purposeful progression to how things came to be.
This is exactly what you see in Genesis chapter 1. There, God brings things into being and progressively brings them into order and purpose. He originates, orchestrates, and organizes each part of creation to fulfill a purpose.
Like creation, you and I have a beginning and we continue to develop and progress toward some sort of purpose.
As people of faith, we are quick to affirm the creative power and plan of God when it comes to creation, but then we doubt God’s creative power and plan when it comes to our lives. It doesn’t make sense to believe that God can purposefully create and manage an entire cosmos, but can’t be trusted to manage and guide our lives.
Genesis chapter 1 should give us confidence that our Creator is as invested and intentional in over-seeing our lives as He is in overseeing the cosmos.
Where is it that you need to trust the God of all creation today?
Bret Legg is the Teaching and Counseling Pastor at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, GA.