Bret Legg 
People who know me know I am not a handyman. I’m someone who can turn a simple fifteen minute fix-it job into an all day nightmare. I am the guy from whom repair people make their money.
So with that in mind, here’s the story…
It was around eight in the evening and my wife was in the laundry room when I heard these words. “Oh no! That’s just great!” Though I didn’t want to, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
Couples come into my counseling office for many reasons. Some are having on-going conflicts they can’t resolve. Others are having trouble with their parents or in-laws. Some are struggling in their sexual relationship. Others are at odds over finances. And some just seem to have different ideas about what makes for a good marriage.
But there was one couple who came into my office who summed up marital issues in one simple sentence. “We have lost the magic.“
Ever feel like your marriage has lost the magic? If so, maybe it’s because:
Some face a new year with much anticipation. Others face a new year with some fear and dread. As you look back over the last twelve months, maybe your life took some hits. Maybe your marriage is still reeling from things you could never have foreseen.
The following guest post by Connie Law Plummer will help you prepare for a new year with new uncertainties.
Generally, I am not in a hurry to put Christmas away. To me the season passes so quickly that I savor the days after Christmas and enjoy reflecting. Gods love, His care, my blessings, my family, the year that is winding down; all of these fill my heart as I look at the lights on our tree And usually, I am excited at the prospect of the new year and what it brings. But if I am honest, this year I am feeling something different, something akin to fear.
At what other time of year are we so aware of the passing of time than while we count down to midnight on December 31st? This year I am keenly aware of all I did not know this time last year. Though I knew we were adding a new grand baby to our family ranks, I did not know she would require specialists and surgery and emotional strain for all of us, in addition to the joy she brought. I did not know that I would hurriedly pack a suitcase and make a middle of the night drive to stay with another grandchild in a town two hours away, while his sister was rushed to a major pediatric medical center in another city for emergency surgery. I did not know that I would pretty much desert my husband for a while to help out at the hospital with the newborn while her mother tended her other daughter, the recipient of that surgery.
As I looked at the Christmas lights at the close of last year, I had no way of knowing that four close family members would step out of this life and into the next so unexpectedly and tragically. Each death unrelated to the other, and three coming in rapid succession. I didn’t know that a great deal of my year would be spent loving the people around me who were grieving so deeply. I didn’t know.
And so, I look at the lights this year, and feel hesitant about stepping forward into next year, like my hesitancy is going to keep time from advancing. If this year was so costly, how can I dive into another year and risk more pain? So I examine my choices. Hide out, refuse to take down the tree, and refuse to acknowledge the New Year? Will that stop anything? Will that cure my fear?
After sorting through all of these thoughts, here is where I land.
So here we go………Happy New Year!
Connie Law Plummer
“Acting for the first time in 14 years, the American Heart Association and the American College of Cardiology redefined high blood pressure as a reading of 130 over 80, down from 140 over 90. The change means that 46 percent of US adults, many of them under the age of 45, now will be considered hypertensive.” (bostonglobe.com)
High blood pressure is considered the “silent killer,” because when you have high blood pressure, there are typically no obvious signs. Many people who have high blood pressure feel just fine. But the undetected increase in blood pressure puts them at increased risk of heart disease, disability, and death.
What does this have to do with marriage…beside the fact that I’m going to have to change my diet and exercise? Just like high blood pressure can be a silent killer physically, there are some things that can be silent killers to your marriage relationally. Here are a just few…
