Some people think that to have the perfect marriage you have to marry the right person. But I don’t think that works. No one’s perfect, and with all the people out there, the odds of finding the right person is pretty slim.
I think to have a perfect marriage you have to do something different. You have to…
- Get them to think like you think.
- Get then to like what you like.
- Get them to do what you want them to do.
If you can get them to do these things, then your marriage will be perfect.
Some of you have tried this and you’re thinking, “That’s hasn’t worked!” But trust me. It will work. If you keep trying to get them to think, act, and be like you, they will eventually leave you and you’ll be left with the perfect marriage…the one in your head.
Ok. Enough sarcasm. Let me get serious.
What if, instead of trying to have the perfect marriage, you realized that you already have the perfect marriage?
I’m sure someone just laughed so hard they blew their drink out their nose. They’re thinking, “I thought you were going to be serious! My spouse and I disagree, fight, and don’t see eye-to-eye on hardly anything! How can that be the perfect marriage?” But that’s exactly why you may already have the perfect marriage.
Your spouse is not suppose to be your clone. They’re suppose to be your compliment. The things about your spouse that are so different from you are the things that makes them so perfect for you.
It’s been said, “Opposites attract.” That’s so true…when you’re dating. But after you say “I do,” opposites aggravate. For example…
Some of the things that attracted me to my future wife (besides her killer good looks) was that she was a conservative girl who was organized, paid attention to detail, and knew how to craft and execute a plan. Those things were attractive to me, because they were my weaknesses. I was a big picture dreamer who didn’t notice details. I could see things in my head, but didn’t know how to accomplish them. So it was a match made it Heaven, right?
But a few years into marriage, when the opioid high of the honeymoon wore off, the warm glow of marriage drifted into the gradual heat of frustration.
I would be frustrated because:
- She always wanted details before she made a decision.
- She always needed a plan before we did something.
- She dressed in styles and colors that are safe and conservative.
- She didn’t like the Grateful Dead! (Can you believe it?)
She would be frustrated because:
- I didn’t pay attention to details.
- I would launch into things without a plan.
- I wore things that didn’t go well together, or were sloppy.
- I didn’t like listening to Chicago.
And that was just the tip of the iceberg. We won’t even open the doors marked “raising kids” and “dealing with in-laws.”
After all these years of marriage, we have grown alike in many ways, but our basic natures are still quite different. We still get aggravated by our differences, but we need those differences. They balance us. The things that aggravate us about each other are the very things that make us perfect for each other.
So what about you and your spouse? Do you think differently, act differently, approach life differently? Great! You’re on your way to having the perfect marriage. Really!
Think about how you and your spouse are different. Look past the aggravation and see the benefit those differences bring to your life and marriage. Next, go to your spouse, tell them how they frustrate you, and then tell them thank you! (Then get ready to call the EMTs.)
Copyright © 2016 Bret Legg