Are You Keeping Your Spouse as a Pet?

Dog foodWhen it comes to marriage, there are some things you just don’t say…that is if you want a long happy life. Things like: “Gee honey, those jeans really do make you look fat.” “I told my dad there were some things you really could learn from him.” “I don’t think your cooking will be ever be as good as my mom’s.” You just don’t say things like that in a marriage, unless you’re ready to lose both a spouse and a limb.

IMG_0662Not too long ago, my wife and I were in Riverwalk Antiques in Vincennes, Indiana. It’s a great antique shop and we enjoyed spending time looking at things and sharing memories. While there, I came across a sign for a restaurant that said, “If your wife can’t cook, keep her for a pet and eat here.” I remember thinking, “Now that’s something that should never be said!”IMG_0654

Most of us are smart enough to never say something like that about our spouse. But what if, even though we never say it with our mouths, we unintentionally say it with our actions?

Though you would never say it, are you keeping your spouse as a pet? Before you answer, here are some questions you need to consider…

  • Do you swat them with a newspaper, but still expect them to greet you lovingly at the door?
  • Do you want them when it’s convenient, but feel frustrated with them when it’s inconvenient?
  • Do you wish you could take them to obedience school?
  • Do you give them a lot of commands?
  • Do you wish you could put a leash or a muzzle on them?
  • Do you scold them for making too much noise or too much of a mess?
  • Do you forget to feed them at times?
  • Do you wish there really was a dog house to send them to?

(I was going to add, “Do you find yourself thinking about having them spayed or neutered?” but we’ll save that for another post.)

The above questions may be humorous, but many of us are guilty of such things without even recognizing it. It’s easy to slip into thinking that our spouse is just here for our enjoyment and pleasure. When we have that mindset, we tend to unintentionally treat them more like a pet than a person. Though it’s ok to have pet names for your spouse, but it’s not ok to treat your spouse as a pet.

So how are you doing with this? Be honest. Think back over the last few weeks. Are you treating your spouse as a person of importance, or do we need to call Riverwalk Antiques and have them hold the sign for you. (That’s assuming my wife hasn’t already bought it to remind me.)

Let’s have some fun with this. Can you think of any more similarities between marriage and pet-owning? If so, share the laughter with the rest of us and leave them in the comments section.

Copyright © 2014 Bret Legg

9 thoughts on “Are You Keeping Your Spouse as a Pet?”

  1. Our cats keep both of us as pets…. Actually they keep us as slaves. Our marriage is kept strong by surviving one day at a time, cleaning their litter box and opening their food cans.


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