Question: How do you know if a person needs encouragement? Answer: If they’re breathing. In other words, everyone needs encouragement. Young or old. Rich or poor. Famous or unknown. Introvert or extrovert. If a person is breathing, they need encouragement.
This goes for your spouse. If they’re breathing…and hopefully they are…they need encouragement.
They need to hear…
- “You did a great job on that.”
- “You look great this evening.”
- “The meal was wonderful.”
- “The yard looks great.”
- “I’m glad you’re here.”
- “I love you more than ever.”
They need you to…
- Leave notes for them occasionally.
- Surprise them from time to time.
- Plan a surprise date.
- Show up to take them to lunch.
- Hold their hand.
- Fix their favorite meal.
- Brag on them to others.
- Give them time to do something they love.
Your spouse needs this kind of encouragement, not because it’s a special occasion and not because you want something from them. They need this kind of encouragement…just because.
I love the anniversary messages that spouses leaves on Facebook. They are sweet expressions of love for all to see. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder if this kind of loving expression is the norm for the couple, or just anniversary speak.
We shouldn’t reserve this kind of encouragement just for special occasions. It should be part of our everyday life together. Encouragement is simple and easy to give. It requires hardly any time, effort, or expense. Yet, the longer we are married, the less we seem to encourage each other.
Ironic, isn’t it. When marriage is new and relatively uncomplicated, we regularly encourage one another. We say, “I love you” frequently. We leave notes. We give surprises. Yet, as the years go by and life gets harder, we encourage each other less and less…even though we need it more and more. Why?
- We become too busy.
- We become too self-absorbed.
- We become too comfortable
- We take our spouse for granted too much.
Encouragement is a little thing, but little things mean a lot. A little encouragement will go a long ways to breathing life and love into a marriage. As a husband, I can tell you that though we tend to act like we’ve got it together, we husbands are more insecure than we want you to know. When you encourage us, brag on us, and assure us, it pumps us up and breathes new life into us. I feel pretty confident that it’s similar for wives who receive encouragement.
So what are we waiting on? Make it your goal to encourage your spouse at least once each day. It will change your marriage, because little things, like encouragement, mean a lot.
Leave a comment and tell us some of the ways you encourage your spouse.
Copyright © 2014 Bret Legg
Thank you for the reminder. I need to get back in the habit of doing the little things for my husband to encourage him and let him know how much I respect what he does for us. For a little while I wrote little notes and hid them around the house, backpack, or lunch box. It was always fun when he found them. 🙂
We all need to pick back up the things we used to do. Sounds like you already know some things that work well for the two of you. Good for you. Bring them back and keep them up.
The dollar tree is the best place in the world for little gifts! You can make baskets full of neat things for under five dollars and they are fun to leave as surprises.
What a great tip! Thanks for helping all of us out.