When you’re dating, holding hands is one of the first big milestones. Getting there can be awkward, but once you’re holding hands, you feel it…”We’re a couple.”
Holding hands when married can be much the same. It can be a little awkward at times, but it can also carry the same “We’re a couple!” feeling.
We hold hands while dating to feel more connected. But over the course of marriage, we gradually stop holding hands, because we already feel connected. After all, we live together, pay bills together, share a bed together, have sex together, and raise kids together. How much more connected can we be? Why do we need to hold hands?
Well it turns out holding hands produces some legitimate benefits for couples…
- Holding hands can lower your stress level. Dr. James Coan, a psychologist at the University of Virginia, studied 16 happily married women to determine if holding hands could actually lower stress levels. Dr. Coan administered a light electroshock to these women while monitoring the stress reactions of their brain patterns with an f.M.R.I. Then, Dr. Coan repeated the procedure, but this time each woman had her hand held by a stranger. Finally, Dr. Coan repeated the procedure, but this time each woman had her hand held by her husband. The results? Stress levels were reduced some by holding a stranger’s hand, but stress levels were markedly reduced by holding their husband’s hand. It turns out that holding hands can actually reduces stress levels for husbands and wives.
- Holding hands creates a strong bond between you and your spouse. It’s been shown that holding hands actually releases a hormone known as oxytocin, which is responsible for increasing feelings of bonding and affection. Maybe you’re thinking, ” You mean a mortgage, car payments, and kids is not enough to bond us together?” No! Many husbands and wives have these things and more, but still divorce. So hold hands. It’s cheaper than divorce.
- Holding hands is an open sign of commitment and devotion. When you hold hands with your spouse, you’re making a statement of commitment and companionship to them and to everyone watching. And let’s face it…who doesn’t want to be arm candy? When you’re walking together and holding hands, you become each other’s arm candy. That’s a plus…at least for one of you.
Few things thrill me more than seeing a couple (especially an elderly couple) holding hands. It says something to me. It encourages me. It gives me hope. And it will do the same for you and your spouse. It’s simple, easy, and doesn’t cost you anything, but it pays huge benefits. So turn to your spouse, and in your best old-school Beatles voice tell them…”I want to hold your hand.”
Leave a comment and tell us how you feel about holding hands with your spouse.
Copyright © 2014 Bret Legg
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You’re welcome.
I love holding my husband’s hand. When we get out of the car, we always reach for each other. To me, it says, “I’ve got you and you’ve got me.” I feel completely secure and protected when he has my hand.
I bet you feel secure and protected. Your husband is another Vin Diesel. I love hearing your comments about holding hands with you husband. I’ve watch you two holding hands and it always makes me smile. I hope that more couples will follow your lead.