Marriage Grammar – Verbs

GrammarVerbs are action words that gives life to a sentence.  Think of the sentence, “Dick and Jane played.”  If you take away the verb, all you have is “Dick and Jane.”  Without the verb, it’s boring and goes no where.

The same is true of marriage.  The right verbs breathe life into a marriage.  Without verbs, marriage is boring and goes nowhere.  It’s actions, not words, that verify your love for your spouse.  In his song “Love is a Verb,” John Mayer points out…”If you show me love, I don’t need your words.  Love ain’t a thing.  Love is a verb.”

Don’t get me wrong.  I think words of love are important.  I love to hear my wife tell me she loves me.  It’s just that using words of love doesn’t make up for not using verbs of love.

In marriage, actions really do speak louder than words, and it’s often the little actions that are important: compliments, helping with the kids, being affectionate, planning a date, putting your dirty clothes in the hamper…and do I even need to mention the toilet seat?  If you love your spouse, you will show it with specific, on-going actions.

In your marriage, do you show your love with verbs?  Find out by answering these two questions…

1.  What does my spouse want me to do?  If you don’t know, stop and think about these clues…

  • What is it your spouse asks you to do most often?
  • What is it your spouse has to “nag” you into doing?
  • What is it your spouse most complains about you not doing?

2.  Am I doing those things…really?  Be honest here.

  • Are you doing the things they want you to do, or substituting other things that come easier to you?  Bringing home a paycheck.  Keeping the house clean.  Taking care of the yard.  Taking care of kids.  These are all loving things to do, but they don’t make up for not doing the things that are more important to your spouse.
  • Are you doing the things they they want you to do regularly and consistently, or just occasionally.  You don’t get any points for doing these things if the only time you do them is when you’re in trouble or want something.

Your answers to these questions say a lot about whether or not you’re loving your spouse with verbs.  They also say a lot about whom you love more…your spouse or yourself.  (Ouch!)

Leave us a comment and tell us the difference using verbs makes in your marriage.

Copyright © 2014 Bret Legg

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