When I say marriage and sex should go together, you may think, “Well duh. That’s a no-brainer!” But there are too many times where marriage and sex don’t necessarily go together…or at least not well.
Husbands and wives usually have a difference of opinion when it comes to how important sex is to the marriage. That difference of opinion usually plays out in disagreements and flat out arguments over how how frequently they should be having sex. Typically, it’s husbands complaining because sex is not happening as frequently as they would like. But there are some marriages where this is the other way around.
Although this disagreement is common, it should not be considered trivial. Sex is an important part of marriage and has a direct correlation to marriage satisfaction. That’s the reason there are so many books and articles written on the subject. Even the Bible has a lot to say about sex in marriage. (Check out the Song of Solomon or 1 Corinthians. 7:1-5.)
Recently I came across a TEDxCU talk called “The Sex Starved Marriage.” In this 17 minute talk, Michele Weiner-Davis talks about the difficulties that occur in marriage when one spouse isn’t interested in sex and why it’s important for the marriage to bridge that gap. Though Davis’ talk is not necessarily “faith based,” I believe it speaks clearly and truly as to why marriage and sex should go together. So rather than reading through a post, click here and listen to a strong talk that will make you think and hopefully challenge you to talk to your spouse about how marriage and sex should go together. (And you get extra points if you watch it with your spouse.)
After watching the video “The Sex Starved Marriage,” leave comment and let me know what you think about it.
Copyright © 2014 Bret Legg
I watched the video and I think she makes a lot of good points. It comes down to consideration and not being “selfish” or “controlling” when it comes to sex and marriage. While I do believe faith is a crucial part of marriage, her words are just common sense. All marriages need this advice. There is so much pressure from the world to take care of ourselves and have “me” time. While that time is important, a lot of times it needs to be “we” time.
I had a thought about using faith and God’s instructions for sex and marriage. He guides this strength and awareness we need to consider our spouse’s needs physically and emotionally. We have to be open to it however and accept our human limitations. We have to be willing to work for the balance. How many Christians blame God when they do not have a strong sex drive or when their sex drive is considered too strong? Do they see it as a failure on his part?
Good thought. As far as blaming God, we typically are quick to say, “Well this is the way God made me!” and forget that God still expects us to control, bridle, and directed who we are for the greater good.
Awesome, as a dating man, I never thought about how sexual self-control will be needed in a marriage. Great insight!
Thanks for the encouraging words. After 34 years of marriage, I’m still working on such things, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.