conflict 7 | Bret Legg

I Don’t Want To!

June 14, 2022December 11, 2014 by Bret Legg

Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to do something you didn’t want to do? Maybe it was to clean up your room, or to take a bath, or to do your homework. Whatever it was, you just didn’t want to do it.

So what would you do? You would stall. You would “forget.” You would try to get around it. Maybe you would even feel a surge of independence and say, “I don’t want to!” To which your parent would say something like, “I don’t care if you don’t want to. Do it anyway!” And you would wind up having to do it, but you would tell yourself, “When I become an adult, I won’t do things I don’t want to do!”

Has Your Marriage Moved From Breathtaking To Frustrating?

April 16, 2018November 25, 2014 by Bret Legg

I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, but I’ve talked to people who have and they tell me it’s breathtaking. They say you’ll stand in awe of the beauty of this masterpiece of creation.

Yet if you lived there all your life, the familiarity would probably cause it to seem less breathtaking. You would probably focus more on jagged rocks, dust and dirt, lack of greenery, over abundance of tourists…you get the idea.

We do the same thing in marriage.

When Marriages Go To War

April 16, 2018November 18, 2014 by Bret Legg

I heard an interview the other day with a doctor who had gone to Syria to take care of children caught in the war there. The doctor spoke of children and families being torn apart, physically, emotionally and relationally by the on-going war. There may be times when war is unavoidable, but it’s never good.

The same is true when marriages “got to war.”

Stepping in Cat Puke

June 14, 2022November 13, 2014 by Bret Legg

Ever have one of those days? The other day, I had gone out for a walk. It was a great walk. The morning was beautiful, my heart was peaceful, and I was able to prepare my mind for the day ahead.

When I got back home, I took off my shoes and socks and headed for the shower. Then it happened…

I stepped in cat puke. In my bare feet! I was stunned. I remember thinking, “This can’t be what I think it is!” I stood there like a statute with one foot in the air, wondering, “How do I get to the paper towels in the kitchen without tracking this from room to room?” Then I thought, “This isn’t even my cat!” (We were cat sitting at the time.)

Discontentment

April 16, 2018October 16, 2014 by Bret Legg

Discontentment is dissatisfaction with the current situation. It can be the push we need to make things better, or the pull we feel that makes things worse. It can be our fuel or our failure.

Discontentment is a powerful motivator. JFK used discontentment to help our country put a man on the moon. Advertising uses discontentment to convince us that what we have is not good enough. Spouses use discontentment to either improve their marriage or end their marriage.

Marital Climate Change

April 16, 2018September 23, 2014 by Bret Legg

Is climate change affecting your marriage?

These days, the subject of climate change is all over the media. Though there are differing opinions on the subject, one thing is for sure. Marital climate change is real.

Stop, Drop, and Roll

April 16, 2018September 12, 2014 by Bret Legg

Last week, I wrote a post entitled “Things Change.” The post was about the inevitability of change and how we should embrace it rather than fight it.

As I looked back on that post, I realized I had talked about the principle of embracing change, but didn’t give any practical suggestions on how to embrace change.

So, let’s talk about how to do that.

Do You See the Ladybugs?

April 16, 2018August 14, 2014 by Bret Legg

I have a confession to make. As a guy, it’s a difficult confession to make, but here it goes…one of my favorite movies is “Under the Tuscan Sun.” There’s just something about this movie that captivates me. (And it’s not just Diane Lane.) Maybe it’s because it’s a movie about disappointment and rebuilding. It’s a movie about life’s ability to deliver both discouragement and unexpected surprise. It’s a movie that reminds us that when you think the good stuff is over, it’s really just beginning.

What Can A Marriage Learn From A Suicide?

April 16, 2018August 12, 2014 by Bret Legg

Last night I learned of the suicide of Robin Williams. I was shocked and saddened by the news. I’ve always been in awe of his ability to riff and improvise on the spot.

It’s confusing when someone with so much to live for can’t see a reason to live. It’s jarring to think that someone could be so bright on the outside and so dark on the inside. Yet this is the reality for many people.

This is also the reality for many marriages.

Wanna Trade?

April 16, 2018July 15, 2014 by Bret Legg

Did you ever do any school lunch trading when you were a kid? You know…you look in the lunch bag your mom packed and you find something you really don’t want. Something you would like to trade for something else.

Marriage can be that way. A few years into your marriage, you can find things in the marriage bag you didn’t really want. Things you wish you could trade for something else.