I know it’s sort of a loaded question, but are you taking care of your spouse? Before you get offended, think about it for a moment. How would you answer that question? What first comes to mind?
Would you respond with a list of things like…
- I bring in a good income.
- I make sure their clothes are clean.
- I pay the bills.
- I keep up the house.
- I take care of the kids.
- I help around the house.
- I take care of the cars.
These are all good things, and I’m not saying that you should stop doing any of them. But these are all things that your spouse could do for themselves. It might be difficult and taxing, but they could do it if they had to.
To truly take care of your spouse, you need to do the things things they can’t do for themselves.
My wife recently fractured her ankle. She’s still unable to put any weight on it, and is stuck keeping it iced and elevated. Consequently, there are a lot of things that she’s unable to do. Things like fixing meals, driving, laundry, dishes, housework…you get the picture. Even if she tried to do these things herself, she would do more damage to her ankle and set herself back even further. In order to take care of her, I have to step in and do those things that she can’t do.
It’s easy to take care of your spouse when their need is obvious and pressing, but what about when their need is not as obvious and pressing?
Every spouse has needs they cannot meet on their own. Things like…
- The need too be affirmed.
- The need to be encouraged.
- The need to spend time with someone.
- The need to talk to someone.
- The need to be close to someone.
- The need for affection.
- The need to have someone meet their sexual needs.
It’s easy to be a good husband and take care of my spouse when the need is as obvious as a broken ankle. But when the boot comes off that ankle, and the crutches are no longer needed, how will I do then? (The jury’s still out, so stay tuned.)
Marriages fall apart when husbands and wives stop taking care of each other. When husband and wives stop meeting those needs that their spouse can’t meet for themselves, they open the door for something or someone else to meet those needs.
So, let me ask that question again. Are you taking care of your spouse? Are you meeting those needs your spouse can’t meet for themselves? Make it your goal to meet those needs…before someone does.
Leave a comment and share a need you believe your spouse has but can’t meet for themselves. Let’s pool our wisdom and help each other.
Copyright © 2014 Bret Legg
This post leaves with me so many different thoughts. I am aware that I need to try harder to meet my husband’s needs and try to make a good effort. I am blessed that he does want to meet mine; however, I have to open up enough to let that happen. Sometimes it is difficult to identify what the needs are that need to be met. Seems to boil down to trust, communication, and commitment.
I couldn’t have summarized it any better…trust, communication, and commitment. You could change the world with these three.
My husband recently lost his father. He has a need of not only for someone to listen, but also to comfort him. I’ve lost both my parents and he was a wonderful support for me during my grieving process. I pray I am as good at it for him as he was for me.
The simple act of listening is one of the most important things we can do for our spouse. It communicates care, concern, and connectedness like nothing else can. Praying for both of you.