What do you remember about the beginning of the movie The Wizard of Oz?
Maybe you remember Dorothy fearfully looking over her shoulder as she runs home. Or perhaps you remember the family and farm hands ignoring Dorothy as she tries to tell them about mean Almira Gulch. Or maybe you remember Almira Gulch, menacingly pedaling her bicycle towards Dorothy’s house.
It may surprise you to find the movie actually begins with a musical overture. A swell of grand and glorious music that sings with the expectation of what’s to come.
Funny how we remember other things about the beginning of the movie and forget that part.
If you’ve been a victim of sexual abuse, you tend to remember the darker, more threatening parts of your story and forget that your story began with the swelling overture of hopeful expectation that meets every new life that breaks forth from the womb.
There was a time of innocence; unmarked by the dark scars of sexual abuse. A time when you were shown love and protection. A time when trust came easy to you.
In light of what you’ve been through, pointing this out may feel like rubbing salt in a wound, but it’s a part of your story. Your story is not solely about a wicked witch and flying monkeys. It’s also about a little girl and good friends. It’s not solely about fleeing, but also about skipping.
It’s easy to make your story all about the trauma and forget there’s more to the story. Your story opens with a swell of innocence and excitement, and no matter what happened in the middle of the story, there’s always hope for a good ending.
I ordered a doll recently that was exactly like the one I had as a child. I was excited about my purchase but when the doll I arrived I immediately hated it. Instantly my brain returned to all the abuse that happened while I had the doll. I was so angry. I was reminded shortly afterward to focus on the positive side of the doll; that my childhood was not always miserable. The doll represented the innocence I had and the joy of having a doll to play with. My eyes started to open to the other positive things that happened in those early years; that has made a difference.
This is such a great word. It’s amazing what a small shift in perspective can do…not to gloss over things, but to keep them from glossing over us. Thanks for sharing.