User Friendly Spouse?

I’m an Apple Computer guy. From my very first MacBook years ago, I’ve been smitten with Apple products. Why? Basically because I find them to be very user friendly.

You may not care what brand of computer you use. You may not even care about computers in general, but if you’re married you do need to care about being more user friendly.

Some marriages are user friendly and some are not. Whether a marriage is user friendly depends on whether the spouses are user friendly. When something is user friendly, it’s:

• Simple, rather than complicated.
• Easy to work with, rather than difficult to work with.
• Clear, rather than confusing.
• Consistent, rather than intermittent.
• Dependable, rather than unreliable.

If someone (other than you) used the above standards to evaluate whether you are a user friendly spouse, how would you come out?

• Are you simple to live with, or do you make life complicated? Do things have to be a certain way, just because you want them to be that way? Do you have trouble going with the flow? Do you complain and generally make matters worse if something doesn’t go the way you want it to? Do you over-react to inconvenience or difficulties? If so, you are not a user friendly spouse.
• Are you easy to work with, or difficult to work with? Do you tend to brush aside your spouse’s opinions and ideas? Do you tell them how they should be doing things? Do you overlook your spouse’s needs when making decisions? If so, you are not a user friendly spouse.
• Are you clear or confusing when you communicate? Do you respond to your spouse with the fewest number of words possible? Do you tend to get sidetracked and give your spouse far too many words and stories then they really need? Do you talk things through in your head and then act like your spouse can read your mind? Do you try to read your spouse’s mind? If so, you are not a user friendly spouse.
• Are you consistent or hit-and-miss in doing the things you’re suppose to? Do you tell you’re spouse you’ll do something, but then procrastinate in doing it? Does your mood change from day to day…to the point where your spouse is never sure how to approach you? Do you go through times when certain things are important to you, and then it changes and they’re not…so much so that your spouse complains that they can’t keep up? If so, you are not a user friendly spouse.
• Are you dependable or unreliable? Do your wants and desires overrule the need at hand? Do you wonder why your spouse tends to make other arrangements for things that need to done, rather than have you do them? Do you have to repeatedly reassure your spouse that you’ll take care of something before they hesitantly trust you with it? If so, you are not a user friendly spouse.

Well, how would you do if you were held up to these standards? None of us will make a 100 on this test, and just because you drop the ball once in a while doesn’t mean you’re not a user friendly spouse. But if you’re consistently dropping the ball in one or more of these areas, then you’re probably not as user friendly as you think you are.

All of us would probably rate ourselves higher than we deserve when it comes to these things, so we need to do the following…

• Find someone who really knows us and give them the permission to be brutally honest with us.
• Ask that person how they would rate us when it comes to being user friendly.
• Then (if you’re really brave) take your spouse out to dinner, show them the standards, and ask them to honestly tell you whether they think you’re a user friendly spouse.

If your spouse is brave enough to tell you what they think, don’t argue with them. Listen to them and learn from them. It will help you be a more user friendly spouse.

What’s one thing that you think would help you be a more user friendly spouse? Leave a comment and let us know.

Copyright © 2015 Bret Legg