Too many choices. Ever felt that way? You turn on your TV and there’s over 300 channels. You go to the grocery store and there are at least ten different types of anything you’re looking for. And if you go out to eat, there are more choices than you could possibly, get around to trying.
We typically think the mores choices we have, the better off we are. But that’s not necessarily true.
Everybody has a different level of pain tolerance. Some have a high tolerance for pain. They have the ability to tolerate pain that others might find intolerable.
Still, other people have a very low tolerance for pain. Even a small pain feels big to them. They don’t wait to see if the headache will get worse. They take something at the first sign of a headache to make it go away. The same can be said about discouragement.
Have you ever had a total stranger hand you a list of things they believed needed to be changed about something really personal to you? That’s what a home inspection list is.
I niavely thought it would be smooth sailing after the contract was signed. After all, we had a buyer who wanted the house enough to sign a contract. “We’re there!” I thought. But there was more for me to learn.
I often tell couples that marriage is like baseball. The key is knowing which pitches to swing at and which pitches to let go by. Others have said the key to marriage is figuring out which hills are too small to die on. However you describe it, there are times in marriage when you have to determine…is this something I should try to change or is this something I should learn to live with?”
In a podcast entitled “Managing Tension,” Andy Stanley talks about determining the difference between a problem to be solved and a tension to be managed. He is speaking to leaders of organizations, but I believe the concept is also applicable to spouses in marriage.
Maybe you’ve seen this…a preschooler is sitting on the floor playing with a toy. They’re perfectly content with the toy they have, until they see another child playing with a different toy. Then the preschooler wants the toy the other child has. They don’t want to just exchange toys. They want both toys!
It’s funny in preschoolers, but it’s not so funny in adults. Yet so many of us get caught up in accumulating things rather than appreciating what we have.
To be married is to know dissatisfaction. That statement will probably get me in trouble, but it’s true. You can’t live with someone who is different than you and not experience some dissatisfaction. Your spouse won’t make the same decisions you would make. They will correct you at times. Their priorities will be different than yours. You won’t like all their habits and quirks. No matter how great your spouse might be, being married to them will bring a certain amount of dissatisfaction.
No one wants to be uncomfortable, but being uncomfortable is unavoidable. The uncomfortableness can be small or large, sudden or gradual, expected or unexpected. But there are going to be times when we’re uncomfortable, so we need to learn how to get comfortable with uncomfortable.
I’m an Apple Computer guy. From my very first MacBook years ago, I’ve been smitten with Apple products. Why? Basically because I find them to be very user friendly.
You may not care what brand of computer you use. You may not even care about computers in general, but if you’re married you do need to care about being more user friendly.
What if a better marriage didn’t demand a major over-haul? What if you could have a better marriage by making small changes?
I believe that small changes can have a big impact in marriage. Think about it this way…if a plane leaving L.A. for N.Y changes it’s course by just a degree or two, it will end up in a completely different part of the world! Small changes can be very powerful.
