Now that I have your attention…
Go to your local bookstore and look at the books on sex. You don’t have to wear a disguise or take the Christian bumper stickers off your car. Just act like you were looking for a book on Civil War history and got lost. Then, when no one is looking, take a look at some of the sex books on the shelf.
You will find that the majority of sex books (and there’s a lot of them) will focus on sexual positions, (and there’s a lot of them.) Yet none of theses books will tell you which sexual position is the best. That’s because people are different. Some people are adventurous while others are more reserved. Some people are tall while others are short. Some people are thin while others are…uh…not thin. So these books will not identify a position that is the “best.”
I know that sexual positions are a matter of preference, but what if I told you there really is one position that is best for sex? It’s true! And the best thing about this position is that anyone can do it. You don’t have to be a contortionist, an exhibitionist, or a daredevil.
What is the best position for sex? The best position for sex is…wait for it…the best position for sex is the “in between” position. Yep, that’s right. The “in-between” position.
I can already imagine the questions:
- “The in-between position? In-between what? In-between sun down and sun up? In-between the furniture? In-between doing the laundry and the dishes? In-between demand and exhaustion?”
- “You don’t mean in between my spouse and soemone else do you? Because that’s not even an option!”
- Are you talking about in-between…uh…never mind!”
Put your mind at ease. The in-between position is not a physical position or a geographic position. (I know some of you are a little disappointed.)
Sex in marriage is less about the position of your bodies and more about the condition of your relationship. It’s less about getting what you think you need and more about being the person you need to be.
The in-between position of sex is an emotional position. We all have different desires when it comes to marriage and sex. And here’s a news flash for you…those desires are rarely the same! So we must move to the in-between position.
When you take the in-between position in sex, you take a position…
- Somewhere between disregarding it and obsessing over it.
- Somewhere between it’s not a big and it’s a huge deal.
- Somewhere between never talking about it and always talking about it.
- Somewhere between a lack of concern and an abundance of conflict.
For some spouses this will mean being more interested and invested in sex than they would normally be. This may feel like faking it, but actually it’s fixing it. The increase investment will improve things in the marriage, as well as improving individual desire.
For some spouses this will mean being less focused on sex. Don’t hear me say that sex is not important. (Is my bias showing?) Sex is a contributor to over all marriage satisfaction, but some spouses need to lower their sexual expectations and stop feeling cheated. Every spouse has to developing more realistic expectations in certain areas of their marriage, and sometimes that area is sex.
Working out sexual issues in marriage requires open communication, some experimentation and a little compromise, but the in-between position is a big step towards making things better.
So I encourage you to try out the in-between position in sex. The good thing is: you won’t pull a muscle and you’ll look good doing it!
Are you a spouse who makes too little of sex? Are you a spouse that makes too much of sex? Try quietly but consistently moving to the in-between position and watch the difference it makes in your marriage.
Copyright © 2017 Bret Legg