Bret Legg 
What’s a good marriage look like? Even if we don’t ask this question out loud, we all wonder what a good marriage really looks like. Maybe you have your own ideas about what a good marriage looks like. When you think about a good marriage, maybe you picture a husband and wife…
There’s a shortage of peace in the world. Terrorist invade and ravage our world like cancer cells invading and ravaging a body. Countries are on edge over territorial, trade, and nuclear issues. Racial tensions tear apart our communities and country. Political parties bicker and battle over every little issue. Husbands and wives divorce and fight battles over children and property. There’s a shortage of peace in the world.
I often tell couples that marriage is like baseball. The key is knowing which pitches to swing at and which pitches to let go by. Others have said the key to marriage is figuring out which hills are too small to die on. However you describe it, there are times in marriage when you have to determine…is this something I should try to change or is this something I should learn to live with?”
In a podcast entitled “Managing Tension,” Andy Stanley talks about determining the difference between a problem to be solved and a tension to be managed. He is speaking to leaders of organizations, but I believe the concept is also applicable to spouses in marriage.
Have you ever been in a conversation with your spouse and you zoned out, only to wake up to these words, “Are you listening to me?” Or maybe you were in a heated discussion where you were graciously sharing the benefit of your knowledge with your spouse, only to have them interrupt you and say, “Are you listening to me?”
Maybe you’ve seen this…a preschooler is sitting on the floor playing with a toy. They’re perfectly content with the toy they have, until they see another child playing with a different toy. Then the preschooler wants the toy the other child has. They don’t want to just exchange toys. They want both toys!
It’s funny in preschoolers, but it’s not so funny in adults. Yet so many of us get caught up in accumulating things rather than appreciating what we have.
To be married is to know dissatisfaction. That statement will probably get me in trouble, but it’s true. You can’t live with someone who is different than you and not experience some dissatisfaction. Your spouse won’t make the same decisions you would make. They will correct you at times. Their priorities will be different than yours. You won’t like all their habits and quirks. No matter how great your spouse might be, being married to them will bring a certain amount of dissatisfaction.
Unless you’re a newlywed, you know how easy it is to let the demands, stresses, and frustrations of life crowd out the things that brought you together in the first place. It’s subtle at first, but eventually these things can take a marriage to dull distance at best and disappointing finality at worst.
But there’s something you can do to hit the refresh button on your marriage. It’s not expensive counseling, and it’s not an awkward marriage retreat. It’s simple, it’s easy, it doesn’t cost anything, and it will remind you why you got married in the first place.
Haven’t we all wished we had some kind of superpower? A superpower that would help us rise above the normal. A superpower we could use to make a difference in the world. A superpower that would make us special.
Well believe it or not, there is one superpower that everyone has.
Valentines Day is over. But for my wife and me, it it was the Valentines Day that never was. More on that in a minute.
Reactions to Valentines day can be mixed and varied. Some look forward to the special attention. Some dread the pressure of trying to come up with something special. Some look forward to the sexual expectations. Some dread the sexual expectations. In short, Valentines Day can be a mixed bag.
No one wants to be uncomfortable, but being uncomfortable is unavoidable. The uncomfortableness can be small or large, sudden or gradual, expected or unexpected. But there are going to be times when we’re uncomfortable, so we need to learn how to get comfortable with uncomfortable.