(The posts in this series have been adapted from the “Relentless Love” marriage seminar, created and taught by David McKinley and Bret Legg at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas, TX.)
Whether it’s War and Peace or Green Eggs and Ham, everyone loves a good story. Children ask for them at bedtime, people tell them at work, individuals troll for them on social media, and studios makes billions on them. Everyone loves a good story.
If you think about it, your marriage is a story. Like any good story, there’s an author. There are protagonists and antagonists. There’s a guide to assist the characters. There are obstacles and struggles to be overcome. And there are outcomes based upon how the characters respond to their situations.
And your marriage is laid out like a story..
Your marriage story has a beginning. Think about how you and your spouse met and how your relationship grew. Think about how you came to realize you wanted to be married and how the proposal and engagement came about. Now think about your wedding day. Remember how your spouse looked on that day? Remember the feeling of kissing your new mate and being pronounced “husband and wife?” Remember those feelings of leaving the reception to start your honeymoon. Think about the first year or two of marriage. All of this makes up the beginning of your marriage story.
Your marriage story has a middle. Unless you recently got married, you’re currently in the middle of your marriage story. The middle of your story includes work, kids, bills, houses, insurance, school, decisions, and a host of other things that fill each day with struggles and demands to be overcome. When you’re caught up in the middle of the story, it’s hard to remember how the story began, or how it might end. You’re just in the thick of a story that seems to be writing itself and taking you along for the ride.
And finally, your marriage story will have an end. All stories eventually come to an end. The ending might be an abrupt and unexpected ending, or it might a gradual completion that gives you a sense of satisfaction and closure. The story of your marriage will come to one of two ends: death or divorce. And whether the ending is abrupt or gradual, there will come a time when the final page will be turned on your marriage story.
Every marriage is a story. The question is, “What kind of story are you telling with your marriage?
When people read the story of your marriage, do they find a comedy that makes them smile or a tragedy that makes them sad? Is the story of your marriage a mystery that makes people question, or is it a love story that makes them sigh romantically? What will your kids and grandkids say about your marriage long after you’re gone? The story of your marriage will be a big part of the legacy you leave.
This post is the beginning of a series of posts about what makes a good marriage story. In the posts that follow, we will look at the specific elements that make up a good marriage story. I hope, by following this series, you’ll learn more about the story of your marriage and how you can make it better.
Take some time this week to consider how the story of your marriage began. Think about how you and your spouse met and the time you spent dating. Remember the proposal and the preparation for the wedding. Maybe dig out your wedding album and spend some time looking through the pictures. Think about the honeymoon and the first months of marriage. Remind yourself of the beginning of the story.
Copyright © 2016 Bret Legg
Good stuff, as always, Bret. I look forward to this series.
I know the legacy my husband and I want to leave and I pray we are on track. Looking at it from the story-writing perspective, it gives a clear direction. The details are not available but if there is a realistic goal it will hopefully avoid the divorce ending. We write our own stories and there is no reason we cannot write our marriage story as well. The legacy we want to leave is one of love, perseverance, patience, and romance. My husband and I have been together going on 18 years and he still opens the car door for me and kisses me before I get in. 🙂 It’s the little things.
Still opens the car door for you and kisses you before you get it…I love it! He gets points and you both get a better story. Keep it up!
My husband and I were just discussing at breakfast today our: courtship, marriage and now some health struggles. How blessed I am with a Godly husband. Our discussion made me think of a passage in Philippians (3:13-14) — “Brethren, I (we) count not myself (ourselves) to have apprehended: but this one thing I (we) do, forgetting those things (obstacles) which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I (we) press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
A very good and appropriate verse for marriage. Thanks for sharing it.