Bret Legg 
“Why am I here?” I find myself asking this question a lot. Sometimes, it’s just because I’ve walked into a room and have forgotten what I was there for. But the older I get, the more I’m asking that question on a deeper level. It’s a question that ranks right up there with, “What is the meaning of life?” It’s a question that begs to be answered.
Remember when your marriage was young? Remember the fun, the anticipation, the magic? Does your marriage still feel magical or has it become more mechanical? If your marriage seems more mechanical than magical, there are three keys to getting the magic back. I found them in a Steve Carrell movie called “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.”
“What happened to the person I married?” “Where did that person go?” “I want that person back.” This is not the person I thought I was marrying.” “This isn’t the spouse I wanted!”
Most people who have been married for any length of time have thought these things, even if they weren’t brave enough to say them out loud. It’s like you’re the victim of a bait and switch. You thought you were getting one person and instead you got another.
We never really outgrow the desire to be liked by others. We can be a grown adult with children and grandchildren, and still be concerned about whether people like us.
We don’t approach people and ask, “Do you like me?” That’s way too elementary school. Instead, we look for affirmation in other ways…
In the last post, we talked about what it means to have a “normal marriage.” Here’s a quick recap:
The key to making your normal marriage good is figuring out what parts to keep and what parts to tweak.
When I started this blog, I didn’t really explain what I meant by the term “normal marriage.” I just jumped right into talking about marriage and never really addressed it. In this post, let me correct that oversight and talk about what it means to have a “normal marriage.”
When you say the words “normal marriage” to people, you’re bound to get a reaction. Initially, people laugh at the idea that there is such a thing as a “normal marriage.” But after laughing, most people are curious and they want to know more. People ask the same three questions…
Who doesn’t want to have power and influence? That’s why people rise through the ranks, store up wealth, connect with the right people, and change things around them. It’s a desire to attain some sort of power and influence. That’s not necessarily bad.
But people often overlook the two things that would make them most powerful and influential.
Verbs are action words that gives life to a sentence. Think of the sentence, “Dick and Jane played.” If you take away the verb, all you have is “Dick and Jane.” Without the verb, it’s boring and goes no where.
The same is true of marriage. The right verbs breathe life into a marriage.
How can someone be here one minute and gone the next? How can life be going so well and then come undone? How can I feel fine one day and get this diagnosis the next? How can I buy a home and then find out later they’re doing away with my job? Why did this have to happen?
If you’ve ever experienced life threatening news, you know these questions. You’ve asked these questions. You’ve looked for answers to these questions. Maybe you’re still looking for answers.
All you want to know is, “Why did this have to happen?”
Why can’t I get what I want? Maybe you’ve asked that question in marriage. Maybe it was when your spouse was not helping around the house. Maybe it was when you wanted to relax and your spouse wanted you to run an errand. Maybe it was when your spouse wasn’t interested in sex, or was too interested in sex. Whatever it was, you found yourself asking, “Why can’t I get what I want?”