Do you and your spouse sit together? I’m talking about sitting close together. Do you sit together on the sofa? Do you sit together when you’re out to eat? Do you sit together when you’re visiting friends?
One of the laws of attraction has to do with proximity.
Possessive pronouns are general words that replace nouns and denote ownership. (Feel like you’re back in school?) They are words like: yours, mine ours, etc. These words are very important to us. Toddlers grab toys and say, “Mine!” Children brag about something of theirs being better than someone else’s. And most teenagers will sooner or later make a grab for independence with the declaration, “It’s my life!”
The transition from single to married requires a transition in possessive pronouns It’s a transition from “mine” to “ours.”
“Cars. Dishwashers. Houses. Televisions. Phones. These eventually beg the question, “Should I fix the one I’ve got or get a new one?” It’s not always clear, and often we make more of an emotional decision than a rational decision. If we really want something new, we can always find the rationale for it. “There’s too many miles on this one.” “It doesn’t clean like it used to.” “It doesn’t have all the features I want.” “It’s not as sharp as it used to be.” “It doesn’t respond like it used to.”
When I’m eating out, I hate not getting what I ordered. Once while traveling, my wife and I pulled off the interstate to grab something to eat. Like a pit stop at Indy, we drove through, got our food, and got back on the road. Back on the interstate, my wife opened the bag to verify the order. (Yeah, I know.. we should have thought of that before getting back on the interstate.) She discovered they had gotten my order wrong. I was so frustrated I turned around at the next exit…several miles down the road…and went back to get what I had ordered. (Can you say “obsessive?”)
What’s this got to do with marriage?
It was a busy Saturday for my wife and me. We had two celebrations to attend in the same afternoon. One was a wedding, and the other was a celebration of a 50th wedding anniversary. Later that evening, after attending both events, I was thinking about those two marriages. It was like someone had called up marriage on the DVR and then pushed fast forward. From zero to fifty in one afternoon.
Dealing with money and in-laws is a normal part of marriage, but it can be a point of stress and contention in a marriage. Listen in to last week’s Normal Marriage class to learn more.
It was one of those evening when I was in a lousy mood. After watching two episodes of “House” (episodes that seemed to flaunt a lack of commitment in marriage by the way), I got up to take a shower and go to bed.
I was finishing my shower and getting ready to turn off the water when it happened. I slipped, spun around, and went down like Shamoo at Sea World.
We often try to avoid conflict in marriage. Let’s face it…very few people enjoy having a conflict with their spouse. It unpleasant personally and it can make us think there’s something wrong with the marriage. But conflict is a normal and natural part of marriage. In many ways, it can actually be good for a marriage if it’s handled well. Listen to last week’s Normal Marriage Class and learn how to get a little more comfortable with normal conflict.
If you struggle with communication in marriage, or just want to tweak things a little, listen to this class audio on Normal Communication. It was a great time of laughing and learning together.
In a previous post entitled “As Good As Sex…Almost,” I talked about a valuable lesson learned from riding out an ice storm with my wife. I thought I was done with the ice storm lessons, until a recent walk through the neighborhood revealed debris and damage still remaining from the storm. Then I realized this storm had more to teach me about marriage. Things like…