As a Teaching and Counseling Pastor, I come across marriages of all shapes, sizes, ages, and stages.
There are those in the very beginning of their marriage. They have no kids, all the time in the world, and life is just one long extended date. But then there are those who’s marriage is down the road a bit. They are in the throes of raising children, battling time demands, and often living more like like room mates than spouses.
I see some who are deeply in love, while others are so distant they’re thinking of getting out. Some started their relationship officially with an elaborate and well coordinated wedding ceremony, while others had no wedding ceremony at all. They just began living together and have continued down that same ambiguous track.
In the face of all of this diversity, I find myself asking questions like…
We don’t often think of how parenting can improve partnering. Usually, we think of just the opposite…how parenting makes partnering harder. We instantly think of all the demands parenting makes on our time, money, energy, and resources, and how those demands complicate marriage.
It’s true that being a parent can make being a partner more difficult. This is why I always tell spouses, “You’re partnering should take precedent over your parenting.” I firmly believe this to be true for every marriage…
Young spouses as well as senior adults spouses.
Spouses who have biological children as well as those who have step children or adopted children.
Those who have just one child as well as those who have twelve.
No matter the situation, the principle is the same. You’re partnering should take precedence over your parenting, because:
In my last post, Why So Serious, I talked about taking part in a funeral for a lady in our church. She had lived to be ninety-three and was married to the same man for seventy-two years. A mere two weeks after her funeral, we were holding another funeral for her ninety-four year old husband, who died just nine days after her.
It was a busy Saturday for my wife and me. We had two celebrations to attend in the same afternoon. One was a wedding, and the other was a celebration of a 50th wedding anniversary. Later that evening, after attending both events, I was thinking about those two marriages. It was like someone had called up marriage on the DVR and then pushed fast forward. From zero to fifty in one afternoon.